You might also ask yourself something like, “If my best friend was going to snoop right now, would I support it?” Even if you are feeling worried or anxious, unfortunately, that doesn’t give you the right to snoop. Tell yourself something like, “If I’m feeling worried, I need to talk to my boyfriend, not snoop through his phone or computer. ”[2] X Expert Source Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPClinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 2 October 2020.

You can even take yourself out of the house if you need to. Try going for a short walk to distract yourself and clear your head.

You could also go for a walk, take a bubble bath, listen to new music, or play with a pet.

You might tell yourself something like, “I wouldn’t want my BF to go through my phone, so I shouldn’t go through his. ”

For example, you might tell yourself, “Snooping isn’t worth it. If I keep snooping, I could eventually push him away, and I might lose him. ”

You might tell yourself something like, “He isn’t like my old partner. We trust each other, and we have a much better relationship. ”[8] X Expert Source Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPClinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 2 October 2020.

You could say something like, “Hey honey, I just want you to know that I’m working on some trust issues right now. It has nothing to do with you, but I might be chatting with you about what I’m doing in order to better myself. ”

For example, you might say, “Hey babe? Could we talk about the boundaries of our relationship? It makes me feel a little bit weird when you message other people on Facebook and Instagram. ”

You might say something like, “I mostly use Facebook to keep up with my family members, and I never answer DMs from people I don’t know. What about you?”

For a lot of people, their phones and computers are their own private spaces. If your boyfriend doesn’t want you to have access to them, try to respect that. Keep in mind that if you want access to his stuff, you might have to let him have access to yours in order to be fair.