If things are still fresh and you’re in the early stages of getting to know each other, you don’t need to tell them. Telling a new partner too early could make them nervous. They may not know you well enough to trust you or understand your point of view. If the subject comes up and your new partner asks, it’s best to be honest and tell them.
Try, “I was young and confused, and instead of being honest, I betrayed my ex’s trust. I really am sorry for the way I handled that situation. " Blaming your ex-partner could be seen as a red flag by the new person you’re seeing.
Say something like, “It was my first relationship, and I hadn’t really learned how to be a good partner. I’ve really worked on myself since then. "
Try, “I realize now how much hurt cheating can cause someone. I’ll never make that mistake again. "
Refer to specific changes you’ve made in your life after the experience, like committing to complete transparency in all of your friendships and relationships. Your new partner will want to know that you’ve made an effort to change so that they can trust it won’t happen to them.
It’s okay to pause the conversation if things get a little too heated or emotional. If it feels like your new partner is interrogating you or getting really upset, you can take a minute to collect yourself. This may benefit your new partner as well. Try saying, “I want to keep talking about this with you, but I think I need a minute to collect myself. "
Say something like, “I’m only telling you this because I want to be open and honest with you. This is a part of my past, but it’s not who I am now. "
Instead of sharing every detail, say, “I cheated in my past relationship, and it’s a mistake I really regret. I learned a lot from the experience and now know the importance of trust and communication in a relationship. " How much you share depends on the dynamics in your new relationship and your comfort level talking about the subject.
