Let yourself be raw with your emotions. You can cry, scream, rage, whatever you need to do. All that matters is you get your feelings out to start the healing process. Some people heal much faster, while others take a lot longer. Don’t rush your own process, and take all the time that you need.
If you don’t stay with the person who cheated on you, that’s totally valid—not every relationship can survive infidelity. When you find someone new, you might feel the hangover effects of distrust from your old relationship. Try to remind yourself that your new partner is different from your ex, and be open about your past. Hopefully, your new partner will be able to reassure you so you don’t have any doubts about them.
People sometimes cheat out of anger, low self-esteem, need for variety, or circumstance. None of these things excuse the cheating, but the reasoning can help you understand your partner a little bit more.
A couple’s counselor can provide an unbiased third-party opinion after listening to both you and your partner. They can also give you solid, concrete steps to take to work on your trust issues and build your relationship back up. Couple’s counseling can also help you explore some of the challenging emotions you’re experiencing, like grief and anger. [9] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
Just because someone cheated in their past relationships doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to cheat on you. If they can talk about it and admit that it was wrong, they may have grown and matured enough to where they won’t cheat again.
You might try taking a hike, going for a bike ride, reading a good book, listening to music, or taking a relaxing bubble bath.
If your partner isn’t willing to work on their issues with you or they’ve cheated on you multiple times, it might be time to think about ending the relationship. It takes two to tango, just like it takes two to maintain a healthy, solid relationship.
