If you feel like you’re feeling an emotional “high” every time you’re around your partner or that you have a real “spark” with them, you’re probably in the honeymoon phase. [2] X Research source This particular phase is met with an acceptance of the unknown and the unexplored. You’ll likely rave about your S. O. and struggle to say anything bad about them. That’s because the honeymoon phase helps you overlook any faults so you can form a strong attachment with a person. The honeymoon phase does not always occur in a relationship, but in a majority of cases, this state of infatuation is commonly a byproduct of the beginning of the relationship.
Bring up strengths, talents, and gifts. Make a comment like, “You are such an amazing teacher! I love all the passion you have for your students. ” Cherish lovable quirks and silly habits. “It’s so funny how you hate Scrabble but love crossword puzzles. What’s the difference?!” Point out special traits they might not notice about themselves. For example, you can say, “I love how you organize all your coupons! Your way of budgeting for everything inspires me. ”
Experiment with silly dates that you can laugh about later. For instance, you can dress like you’re going to a really formal party and then toast milkshakes in a fast food joint. Focus on milestones. For example, go to a concert you both love to celebrate the first anniversary of your relationship. Take a ton of pictures that you’ll cherish in the future. Capture a sweet event, like sharing your first holiday with your partner’s family.
Treat each other to tons of physical touch and affection. Now’s the time to snuggle up to each other or make out whenever the moment strikes. Switch up your styles of intimacy—be sweet and gentle one night and really bold the next. Let go of your inhibitions while you’re full of hormones and desire. Discuss spicy activities you’ve never tried and then give them a shot.
Chat about your ideal careers and how you’ll both lift each other up. For example, say, “Since you’ll be a pro athlete and I’ll be a nutritionist, let’s both focus on our health!” Discuss how you’ll take breaks and unwind with whirlwind trips. Plan something like, “When we both have enough PTO, we should definitely make it out to Hawaii for some sushi and sunbathing!” Brainstorm the home you’ll live in together. Make a comment like, “We should get a home with an extra bedroom for when my parents visit and an office so you can edit your videos in peace!”
You’ll both probably stop working so hard to win one another over. For example, your S. O. might leave dirty laundry all over the place or you might stop dressing up for date nights.
This is when the “cracks” start to show — any issues that seemed small before will feel like real annoyances or problems. For example, maybe you think your partner is too impulsive and wish that they’d be more patient. This happens because the euphoric high of being in love usually overshadows the annoying aspects of your partner, and that high is now wearing off.
You’ll both also want less compromises and prefer to just get your needs met ASAP. For example, you might say, “I don’t want to go out with your friends tonight. I’m going to stay home and watch a movie. ”
You may seduce each other less often or notice a drop in your libidos. Instead, you might choose to go out for coffee or stay in to watch a show.
Check in about if your desires for physical affection and intimacy are getting met. For instance, ask something like, “I think it’s important to have sex at least once a week. Do you agree with that?” Chat about whether you’re both experiencing enough quality time with a comment like, “I noticed we haven’t just hung out with our phones off in a while. Why don’t we go hit up a farmer’s market this morning and make a nice brunch?” Strategize about how your personalities or habits can work well together. For example, if you love parties but your S. O. doesn’t, consider going solo to help your partner relax more.
If you feel anything is “missing” in the relationship, talk about it. For example, you can say, “I remember when we used to compliment each other all the time. I’d love it if we made more of an effort to point out what we love about one another. ” Tell your partner when you need to vent or when you need extra space for yourself. That way, they’ll learn about how you resolve any negative emotions like stress or frustration. Share when you feel that certain factors have impacted your enthusiasm and energy level in the relationship. For instance, say something like, “I know I haven’t been very flirty lately, and I apologize for that. Work has really taken a toll on me. ”
Talk about your current living situation and if you want to improve it. Say something like, “Would you rather retire near the beach or in the mountains?” Chat about your values and if they’ve changed over time. Make a comment like, “When I first met you, you thought work was more important than play. Do you think you’ve loosened up about that?” See if they’ll give you some insight into their hobbies or interests. For example, you can ask, “Will you show me how to play a simple song on your guitar?”
Physical activities that are really rigorous make your hearts race just like they did in the first stages of your relationship. You can take tennis classes together, for example. Anything that’s mentally stimulating, like learning poker together, will boost your feelings of love for each other. You’ll both see that you’ll keep growing together over time.
