Don’t worry about fulfilling any kind of time requirement before making it official with a person you’ve been dating. If you like them and you’re comfortable with it, do it!
It’s perfectly fine to pull the trigger earlier if you’re both on board, though. If you two have been friends for a while, or you’ve been casually hooking up, you already know each other well enough to make a decision ASAP. Don’t force yourselves to casually date if you’re both already on board with a relationship. [3] X Expert Source Candice MostisserRelationship Coach Expert Interview. 24 January 2020. If it has been more than 4-6 months, it may be a red flag. It’s worth discussing what’s going on if you want this to move forward. [4] X Research source
This lines up with the 1- to 3-month timeline for most folks. That’s 1 date every weekend on the fast side, and 1 date every 2-3 weeks or so on the longer side. After 6 dates, you should start to form an impression of whether there’s anything here or not. If you still can’t tell, it’s okay to keep dating, but try to identify whether you want a relationship with this person or not. [6] X Expert Source Candice MostisserRelationship Coach Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.
This might include phrases like, “We should go to the beach next summer,” or, “Would you want to take a road trip in a few months?”
If your friends really like your significant other, it’s a good sign as well. They’d probably let you know if they thought you were making a huge mistake.
If you’ve ever stayed up way past your bed time talking to them, or you get so lost in conversation
Starting a relationship before you (or your partner) are emotionally ready for it can create issues early on. Don’t rush things if you aren’t ready.
If you don’t feel like the time is right to commit, don’t. And don’t feel bad about that, either. Even if your date wants to make it official, you should be 100% on board with it.
You might do this after a good date, or while you’re both relaxing and cuddling on the couch.
You could say, “Hey, I’d like to talk about our relationship, if that’s okay? Nothing bad, I promise! I just want to know where you see us going and if you’re interested in making it official. ” Alternatively, you can just come right out and say, “I’m sorry if this is a bit forward, but do you want to be my boyfriend/girlfriend?” If you don’t feel comfortable having this conversation, it may be a sign that you aren’t quite ready to move on.
You might say, “So you’ll be my boyfriend/girlfriend?” or, “I’m going to be your boyfriend/girlfriend? It’s official?” Make sure you’re exclusive by clarifying what a “relationship” means to you. You might ask, “I have no interest in dating anyone else. Do you feel the same way? I just want make sure we’re on the same page about not seeing other people. ”
If you’re okay to keep dating and you don’t mind waiting for them to meet you where you’re at, you might say, “That’s okay, I get it. I’m fine with keeping things casual if you are. ” If you really want to be exclusive and move things forward, you might say, “I understand how you feel, but I really think we’re looking for different things. ” It’s also okay to just say, “I need some time to think. I’m not angry or anything, but let me process how I feel. ”
