To get a sense of what your potential date is like, try to have at least a couple of meaningful conversations that go beyond just small talk. For example, you might talk about things like your career and family goals, your core beliefs and values, or hobbies that are important to you.
For instance, you might agree to meet up in a few weeks. Set a specific time and date. Say something like, “Let’s grab coffee at 1:30 on the 20th. ” Avoid making vague plans, like, “Let’s meet up next month!” Another good reason to avoid chatting over text for too long before meeting is that it can start to skew your expectations of the other person. You can only get to know someone so well without actually speaking to them face-to-face. [3] X Research source
If your match refuses to video chat with you before meeting in person, be careful. This can be a sign that they’re not who they claim to be. Bumble offers built-in video chat and voice call features to make it easier to connect with your matches. Once you’ve made a match and started a conversation, look for video camera and phone icons to appear in the top right corner of the screen. Press the video icon to start a video chat, or the phone icon if you’d rather do a voice call. [5] X Research source
Keep your individual circumstances in mind as well. For instance, you might both have very busy schedules, or you may need to delay getting together due to COVID safety concerns. If life gets in the way, don’t sweat it—just try to schedule something for whenever you can. Just be aware that your match might move on if you keep delaying a meet-up indefinitely, so try to be clear about your intentions if you’re interested, but not ready just yet.
It’s also totally okay to move on if you don’t want to keep waiting. Say something like, “Hey, it’s been great chatting with you, but I don’t feel like things are really going anywhere with us. Best of luck finding the right person for you!”
Ask for money (which is also against Bumble’s rules). [9] X Research source Suddenly disappear from the app, then reappear shortly after that with a new profile. Give only vague or evasive answers to your questions. Pressure you to do things you’re not comfortable with, such as giving them your phone number or meeting in person before you’re ready. Send sexual or overly romantic messages before you’ve had a chance to get to know each other. Ask for your home or work address, often with the excuse that they want to send you flowers or a gift. Make threats or insult you if you don’t do what they want.
Agree to meet in a public place. Suggest a few fun options based on your match’s interests. [12] X Research source [13] X Expert Source Collette GeeRelationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist Expert Interview. 1 May 2020. Let a friend or family member know that you’re going to be on a date. Tell them where you’re going and who you’ll be with. If you go anywhere else, shoot them a text to let them know. [14] X Expert Source Collette GeeRelationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist Expert Interview. 1 May 2020. Bring your own transportation so you don’t have to rely on your date to take you anywhere. [15] X Expert Source Collette GeeRelationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist Expert Interview. 1 May 2020. If you don’t have a car, catch a ride from a friend, use a rideshare service, or hop on public transit. If you start to feel really unsafe on your date, ask a staff member at your date location (like a server or bartender) to help you out. For instance, they can distract your date, call a ride for you, or even call the police. Don’t be afraid to cut the date short and leave if you start to feel uncomfortable. Unless it’s a special function, don’t do any first date activities later than 11 PM. [16] X Expert Source Collette GeeRelationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.
