This doesn’t apply to multi-texting where you break up a thought into 2-3 texts that you send back-to-back, but if more than a few minutes pass, wait for them to respond. If she just straight up hasn’t responded in 2-3 days or something, you can send one more text. After that, the ball is in her court. Don’t keep texting someone who isn’t responding to you. [2] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.
If she is texting you back super fast, don’t worry about this. Don’t ruin a good conversation on purpose by waiting. When it comes to ongoing convos where hours may pass between texts though, don’t hit them back right away. For example, if she takes an hour to respond because she was busy with something at work, you might wait 15 minutes or so just to make it clear you aren’t waiting for her. If she takes 10 minutes in between each text, you might take 10 minutes, too. Mirroring her speed is always a safe way to go.
This doesn’t mean you should ignore her. If she texts you every day, great! It’s a sign that things are going super well and you should reply at some point. But if she doesn’t hit you up first one day, let things breathe and take a day off.
If you wait for her to text you first and she never does, it’s a sign that this wasn’t going to work out anyway. That can be a big bummer, but it’s better to know now than to waste multiple weeks or months chasing something that never had legs in the first place. If you’re always texting her first, it may be a signal that she’s not totally crazy about you yet. That’s okay—you still have tons of time—but it’s good information to have if you don’t want to seem desperate.
This is also a good way to keep the momentum of a conversation going. If the conversation is too uneven, it can make her feel like she’s not texting enough, or texting too much.
Let things develop organically. It can be hard to take things slow when you’re really into someone, but it’s key if you don’t want to come off as desperate.
A lot of people trying to date hear the advice, “Ask questions to get them talking about themselves. ” That’s true to a point, but you don’t want to overdo it. As an example, imagine your crush says, “I can’t wait for this weekend. ” What sounds more laid back: “Do you want to hang out this weekend? What are you up to?” or, “Me neither, it’s been a long week. ”
For example, if she says, “Have you seen that new Marvel movie?” you might say, “I think I saw it with my friends a few weeks ago. ” If she says, “I am so ready to go out this weekend,” you could reply, “Me too, I’m catching up with a bunch of folks I haven’t seen in a while. ”
This isn’t to say that you should never talk about yourself. A comment like, “Oh, I love old movies too! Humphrey Bogart was the man,” can really help build conversation. If she asks you a deeper question, answer it! But the goal here is to get her to be interested enough to ask in the first place, and that can’t happen if you just volunteer everything up front.
Absolutely avoid the relationship talk if you two are still just chatting. You can ask her out if you want, but don’t jump into the “I’m looking for a life partner” talk.
For example, if you’re talking about your favorite classes and you mention math, she might say something like, “You’re such a dweeb,” you might be tempted to say, “I am not! You really don’t like math?” That might come off as a little testy and soft. Instead, say something like, “At least I don’t like English, like some dorky librarian 😎”
