There used to be a lot of “rules” and etiquette tips about this. People would talk about waiting 2-3 days to text after first dates, or not to text too much or too late if something is new, but none of that is particularly true these days.
In the grand scheme of a new relationship, this is not a huge deal. Your texting habits aren’t going to be what makes or breaks things here, so don’t stress yourself out if the convos are a little uneven! The reverse is also a concern; if they’re texting you a ton but you just aren’t all that invested in the conversation, it may be a sign that they like you way more than you like them.
If you want a little more from them, you might say, “Hey, I can tell you may not love texting, but I get kind of stressed when you leave me on read for too long. Do you want me to pull back on the daily texting, or can you pick it up a bit? It’s not the end of the world either way!” If they’re overdoing it, you could say, “Hey, sorry I keep forgetting to get back to you, I’m not much of a texter to be honest. Want to chat tonight?”
If you’re getting the sense that something is “off” with your convos, look at who texts who first. If you’re always initiating the conversation, slow down a bit. They’re probably responding frequently because they like you a lot (which is great), but it’s possible that they don’t want to text as much as you. [5] X Research source
If you really aren’t sure if you’re overdoing it, look at the lengths and times of your texts. If your texts are just as long as their texts, and the two of you generally respond in the same intervals, then you’ve got nothing to worry about.
If they’re enthusiastic when you talk on the phone and your in-person dates go well, it’s safe to assume that they just aren’t all that into texting. Don’t worry about it.
You might say, “I really like talking to you, but it feels like you are kind of unresponsive over text sometimes. Is there any way you could try to stay in touch more often and talk to me periodically throughout the day?”
Unless they’re being super cold by ghosting you for multiple days or leaving you on read, don’t read too much into it if you’ve just started dating. Just enjoy your time together.
It’s hard to communicate complex ideas over text. It’s also impossible to pick up on sarcasm, too. If you’re interested in a good, deep conversation, do it verbally over the phone or in person.
If a text goes totally unanswered for 24 hours, feel free to resend one more text. They may have just forgotten to reply.
At the same time, if the two of you are texting back and forth because your conversation is firing on all cylinders, don’t ruin the momentum by arbitrarily going silent. If they tend to take 15 minutes to reply, you might wait 15 minutes as well. If they take 2 hours to reply because they were busy with work, wait 10-30 minutes to reply.
Unless the two of you have been dating regularly for a month or more, don’t start talking about an exclusive relationship or getting serious. That can mess up the momentum of a good thing if your partner is a little scared of commitment.
