If you ask HR, they may realize that you’re trans before you’re ready to come out. If you work for a big company, do an online search for news articles relating to your company and transgender or LGBTQ+ issues. This can help you get an idea about the company’s informal policies.
Keep a copy of the laws protecting your rights so you can show it to management if problems arise.
Talk to your friends who are transgender about their coming out experience. Read coming out stories online. Seek advice in online forums for transgender individuals.
For instance, people might ask basic questions like, “Have you always known you were a woman?” “When did you realize you were trans?” or “Why are you coming out now?” You might decide to deliver a response like, “I realized I was really female at 5-years-old, but it’s been hard to feel accepted. I’m at a point in my life where I feel like I can finally be myself, so I’m being honest about who I really am. ”
Save some money before you come out. Practice asserting your rights if you have protections. Get documentation about your job performance before you come out, if possible. For instance, get copies of your performance reviews or your sales documents. This way you can show you’re a valuable employee. Update your resume so you’re prepared to search for a new job.
You might say, “I’m ready to come out at work, but I’m worried about my career. ”
If your unsure who to choose, ask the people you’re closest to a few questions about their beliefs regarding LGBTQ+ rights. You might say something like, “Do you think our workplace has inclusive policies?” or “Do you think we should post rainbow stickers for pride next year?”
You might say something like, “Since I was 7, I knew I was actually a male. I need to live my life as my authentic self, so I want to come out at work as a man. I consider you to be an open-minded, caring person, so I hoped you’d support me. ” Ask a friend or family member to stand-in for the coworker you plan to tell. Then, practice telling them what you plan to say.
For instance, you might ask them out to lunch or could invite them to a post-work happy hour.
Say something like, “I invited you to lunch today because I trust you. I feel comfortable telling you that I’m actually a transgender woman, and I’m now ready to fully live my life as my authentic self. I’m ready to come out at work, and you’re the first person I’m telling. ”
You might say, “I hope that you’ll be there to offer support as I come out to our coworkers, but I understand that you might not feel comfortable with this role. ”
Say, “Since I was a child, I knew I was a transgender man. Now, I’m ready to come out at the office. ”
At a minimum, it’s helpful to give them educational material, like a printed hand out. Ask your counselor if they have any materials you could use or print some out from online resources. If you’ve changed your name, birth certificate, or drivers license, give them a copy of these items to show you’re legally transitioned, if this is the case for you.
You might say, “I need you to call me by my preferred name and my preferred pronouns. Additionally, I plan to use the bathroom for my true gender. ”
Talk to each person one at a time. Tell people in small groups. Send a letter to the entire office.
This might be easier than coming out over and over again. The letter also ensures that everyone gets the same information at once.
What name they should call you. Which pronouns they should use. Which bathrooms you will use.
For instance, you might send them to the GLAAD website. [19] X Research source
