Try saying something like, “I know you must be overwhelmed right now, but I am here for you and I am willing to listen if you ever need to talk. ”
If you are worried because your friend has not sought help for her pregnancy, then you should talk to her about how you feel. For example, you might say, “I know this is overwhelming for you, but I am concerned about your health and well-being as well. I think you need to see a doctor, no matter what you plan to do about the pregnancy. ”
For example, your friend might need someone to drive her to a clinic, help her find an obstetrician, or choose an adoption agency. To determine what she needs, you might simply say something like, “I am here for you. What can I do to help?
Instead of judging, ask her how she is feeling. She may be sick from morning sickness or emotional from keeping the secret. Let her tell you how she feels instead of you telling her how to feel. Assure your friend that you still love her and this does not change your friendship. She is probably scared and needs to know things will be OK. [1] X Research source Stress is hard on the baby so she needs to be supported to feel positive. It is OK to talk about the baby if she is going to raise the baby, it can be exciting to prepare for a baby.
Try starting the research by asking her what options she is considering. Many people have strong feelings about things like abortion so she may not even be considering this option. However, if she is, help her to research the option. Help your friend make a list of pros and cons as you research the options. For example, a pro of abortion might be that she can avoid having to tell her parents, teachers, and friends about the pregnancy. However, a con of abortion might be that she may have regrets later on or that she may risk medical complications.
Try saying something like, “I know you are worried about telling your parents. Would you feel better if I was there too?” If she declines your offer, do not be offended. She may just want to speak to her parents on her own. Be prepared for her parents to get upset and have a backup plan if the worst happens and she is kicked out of their home. Is it OK for her to come to your house in the event of an emergency? Asking your own parents for advice after she tells her parents might be useful as well. Your parents may know her parents and can offer support parent to parent. Having another adult know can also help to lessen the overall stress of keeping the secret. However, remember to make sure that you check with your friend first.
If your friend tells you that she has decided to keep the baby, try saying something like, “I know you must be really scared right now, but you will be an awesome mother!” If she tells you that she has decided to give the baby up for adoption, try saying something like, “I know this must be hard for you, but you are going to give an amazing gift to some lucky couple!” If she tells you that she wants to end her pregnancy with an abortion, try saying something like, “I know this was a difficult decision for you, but I love you and I will do what I can to help. ”
Many schools have special programs for teen parents. If your friend is interested, you can check with your guidance counselor to see if there is one at your school.
You have every right to feel how you feel, but keep in mind your friend who is pregnant may not be the best person to talk about your feelings with. You may need to talk to a trusted adult instead of adding stress to her already stressful situation.
A counselor can offer advice and support, but she cannot tell anyone else about your friend’s secret unless your friend is in danger, such as if she is suicidal. If you tell the counselor that your friend is suicidal, then the counselor would be obligated to find out if that is true. If your friend is truly suicidal, then the counselor would have to report this to social services. Keep in mind that talking to an adult will give you the opportunity to ask questions and get further information about resources that may help both your friend and yourself through this ordeal.
Using condoms can protect you against pregnancy and STDs. [4] X Trustworthy Source US Office on Women’s Health U. S. government agency providing resources for women’s health Go to source However, keep in mind that abstinence is the only way to 100% protect yourself from teen pregnancy.
