For example, say something like, “You’re so loving and gentle with everyone, even when they make it really hard. That’s wonderful. I wish there were more people like you. ”

For example, say something like, “I think it’s funny that you don’t think you’re smart like him. I mean, there’s no way I could have done that report last year without your help. ” You can also say something like, “Don’t worry about being patient like Gina. You’re not only patient, you’re also very understanding. Just look at how you handled that whole thing with Frank!”

For example, say something like, “You really kept your head in that meeting. I admire that. . . I don’t think I could have,” after she stays cool (despite a history of sarcasm and defiance) while your boss is grilling everyone.

For example, say something like, “Andrea may be the bride but you’re the most beautiful woman in the room to me. ”

For example, say something like, “I don’t really ‘get’ shoes but there’s something about those shoes that says you’re going to own this room today. ”[3] X Research source

Of course, this can be kind of dangerous. You’ll need to think about how this compliment would sound. Just take half a second and try to see the compliment from her point of view. Does it highlight that she’d previously been doing something wrong? Does it make her sound weak, dumb, or anything else really negative like that? Learning how to truly hold respect for her can help you not screw up in situations like this.

Try compliments like “I love it when you talk because your voice sounds like home to me” or “You are so elegant, you remind me of Audrey Hepburn”.

Examples of things that she can control are: her education, her determination, her skills, her accomplishments, her personality, and her interactions. Examples of things that she cannot control are: her eyes, her skin color, anything relating to age, and her overall beauty. Besides, complimenting a woman on something she can’t control is like someone complimenting you on your neighbor’s new job. You didn’t really have anything to do with it, so it’s more difficult to be happy or flattered.

You might make cheesy compliments like “Your smile is like a summer day” passable, if the context is right and you really, honestly mean it. In general, avoid any compliment that sounds like it might have come out of a romance novel or a guy at a gross bar, though. It’s hard to make them work.

For example, don’t say something like, “Don’t worry about Becky getting all the guys. I think you’re way prettier than her. ” Instead say something like, “I know you think Becky gets all the guys but I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You’ve got everything that a good guy is looking for. . . you just have to give yourself a chance to let all that shine through!”

For example, if she’s done a lot of volunteer work, say something like, “Have you ever heard of the whole Pay It Forward thing? You probably don’t give yourself enough credit for it, but every positive difference you make just radiates outward and creates more wonderful things in the world. I think what you’re doing is really incredible. ”

Do NOT compliment her by comparing her to how she used to look (aka “You look so much better now!”). Be considerate of her feelings. Try to compliment the larger effect that the weight loss has had. This might take the form of “You look so healthy and energetic today” or something like “You seem so much happier and confident lately. ” The best route is to compliment her actual effort at getting healthier. This is the thing she’s done that’s truly admirable. Go for something like, “You are my inspiration to make positive changes in my life too. I hope I can be as determined and committed as you!”

The point of a compliment is to make her feel good; it’s not actually about earning you points. That means that compliments should be saved for times when it’s really important to make her feel good about herself.

This is why we feel really good when kids give us a compliment. It might not always be worded in the perfect way and it might be complimenting something kind of weird, but kids haven’t learned how to flatter people to get what they want. When they compliment us, they mean it, and it’s extremely heartwarming, even if the delivery sucks.

As a rule of thumb, don’t say anything to her that you wouldn’t say to your own mother or sister. If your mom would hit you on the head for saying that, then you probably shouldn’t say it to another women either.

For example, when you see her buy a sandwich for a homeless guy, sit her down and cook her dinner later that night (or even take her out to a fancy restaurant). You don’t have to take actions like these every time she does something wonderful: just like verbal compliments, save them for when you think they really matter.