Start small. Try to make small talk whenever possible. For example, talk to classmates between classes or chat up a barista at a coffee shop. Think about joining clubs or doing volunteer work. This is a great way to meet people and push yourself out of your comfort zone by making yourself engage more. Relax if it feels stressful at first. Eventually, talking to other will be easy. For instance, you might ask a random person for restaurant recommendations, or ask a customer for their opinion in a department store. [2] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.
Be careful who you tell, however. Pick someone who’s good at keeping secrets and who you trust not to tell anyone. It can be embarrassing to have your crush revealed by someone other than yourself. Try talking with a trusted friend or loved one right before you go out and meet new people. [4] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.
Make conversation with your crush whenever you can. For example, if you are on the school newspaper together, talk to them before and after meetings. You can even use your observations as conversation starters, like commenting on an outfit they’re wearing. [5] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 13 July 2021. Try to get to know your crush as a friend. Invite them out with your group of friends for a group activity, like seeing a movie.
For example, write something like, “Hey, I’m too shy to say it in words, but I wanted you to know I have feelings for you. " Say somewhere in the letter that you’re shy, however, and this is why you’re confessing in writing. People sometimes get offended that people do not talk over romantic feelings face to face. Do not send an anonymous e-mail or letter. This could easily backfire if your crush assumes the letter is from someone else or is put off by you being so indirect. [6] X Research source
Keep in mind, this is usually not the best method to confess indirectly as it puts your friend in a difficult position. Only use this method if you’re really struggling to overcome your shyness and have been crushing on the person for a long time.
If you decide not to confess, you can talk over your feelings with a close friend or family member instead. They can help you manage your emotions surrounding the crush so you can cope on your end without having to confess.
For example, ask your crush to hang out one on one. It won’t be a date, but it’s a chance for you to spend time with them alone. This can help you get more comfortable with them, making confessing easier. Try to pay your crush some compliments. Let them know what you like about them. This can make it easier to eventually tell them you like them romantically.
Remind yourself that, no matter the outcome, at least you’ll know. Having a crush, especially one you’ve been nurturing for a long time, can be exhausting. Sometimes, it’s a relief to know the outcome either way.
Say something like, “I wanted to tell you something. It’s a little hard for me to say, but I think you should know that I have feelings for you. " Let them know what you want from them. For example, “I’d just like to know if the feelings are returned at all. "
It can help to have others share stories of their own heartbreaks. This can be a reminder that you’re not alone.