Think about the worst-case scenario. Although this seems counter-intuitive and like it would just lead to even more ruminating, when you think about the worst-case scenario, and then think about whether you would be able to handle it; you’ll likely find that you can imagine yourself handling the situation and this can help decrease your worry. Schedule time for yourself to worry. By setting aside time to think about your problem, you can rest assured that it will get the attention it (maybe) needs; this can help you stop thinking excessively about your problem when you don’t want to. Go for a walk. Getting out and about can get your mind off of your worries, either simply because of the exercise itself or because you will be taking in new information (sights, sounds, smells) which can help your mind wander to other, less distressing things.
Renounce old habits in favor of a more effective lifestyle. Your subconscious mind where all your habits are recorded is a comfort zone that provides the feeling of familiarity, safety, and confidence. You can do the same things every day, tread the same routs, undertaking no risks. But what about your bold dreams and ambitious plans? To make some great things happen, as well as grow and develop as a person, you have to leave this comfort zone and undertake some risks in the pursuit of a better tomorrow. Studies show that individuals adopting this “growth” mindset are more likely to make desired improvements than those who view their traits and skills as fixed and unchangeable. [1] X Research source
To be optimistic, try telling yourself that you will succeed and control your mind over and over again, even if in the moment you don’t believe so. Try also to remind yourself of times where you successfully controlled your mind as intended. Reflect only on these successes and not on any self-control failures you might have had.
To do this, really try vividly imagining and playing along with the idea that the object you wish to avoid has changed its properties.
Take it upon yourself to change your own future through hard work and persistence. For example, if you had a difficult childhood and think your life is going to be difficult forever, you might identify ways in which you want your life to improve, and work to improve them. Continuing the example, perhaps you want more meaningful relationships and a better job. You might research ways to obtain those things and then set goals for yourself in those domains to accomplish.
To avoid personalization, try to think carefully and logically about events that you are personalizing. It can help to ask yourself some questions. For example, you might ask yourself “What could I actually have done to stop my daughter from falling down, given that I wasn’t at school with her?”
To stop jumping to conclusions, you can pause and think more before reaching judgments. It can help to ask yourself questions about the thought. For example, you can ask yourself if you really know that the thought you are having is true. You can also ask yourself to identify specific pieces of evidence that would suggest that the thought is true. Using the prior example, someone who thinks a person doesn’t like him might ask himself to identify particular conversations with that person that provide evidence for the claim.
To stop catastrophizing, work on thinking more positively. You can also ask yourself questions that employ logic and reason. For example, someone who failed a test and thinks his life is ruined because he will never get a good job might ask himself: “Do I know anyone who has failed a test yet still gotten a good job and/or seems happy?” “If I was hiring someone would I make my entire decision based on that person’s grade in a single class?”
You don’t have to lay out very detailed steps for achieving these goals as part of this exercise; instead, remember to keep your overarching goals in mind so you stay on track in your life. To form personal goals, it is important not to set the bar too high or else you will fail and this can kill your motivation. Instead, set some big goals (e. g. , learn how to code software), but break those bigger more distal goals into smaller more achievable goals (e. g. , read 1 chapter of a software coding book every week). In this way you can see tangible amounts of progress as you work toward accomplishing your more distal goals.
Although the idea that feeling happy causes you to smile is more intuitive, the facial feedback hypothesis suggests that smiling can actually cause you to feel happiness. [10] X Research source
Exactly how you spend your time or money on others isn’t that important. What matters is that you and those you are helping find it valuable.
Another example is that if you keep hitting the snooze button in the morning, you could place your alarm clock far from your bed, so that you are forced to get out of bed to turn it off. A further example is if you are having trouble refraining from sex, and you want to change this behavior, you could avoid putting yourself in situations that lead to sex: you could stay away from bars, nightclubs, and you could delete the phone numbers of people you sometimes hook-up with.
Be careful not to make the reward too excessive or you may find yourself out of control and back to square one where you started. For example, if your goal is to lose weight and you controlled your mind and exercised when you didn’t feel like it, don’t eat several chocolates or you will just lose the progress that you made.
To ensure the punishment’s effectiveness, place it in the hands of a family member, friend, or partner and tell them to dish it out if you fail to exert the self-control you desired. For example, they could hide your dessert and, at the end of the day if you failed to achieve your self-control goals, they could withhold that dessert from you.
Try relaxation techniques such as deep abdominal breathing, which involves breathing in deeply and holding your breath for a few seconds then slowly exhaling over the course of several seconds. You may also try focusing your mind on a single soothing word (such as calm or peace). Get some exercise, which will help you to breathe deeply and relax your tense muscles. Talk to friends and family, since social support can act as a buffer against stress. [18] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
