By focusing your mind on your breathing for a moment, you give yourself some distance from your thoughts and make them easier to manage. Studies show that it takes 90 seconds for neurochemical triggers to fade from your brain and return you to a normal brain chemistry, so try counting to 90 to calm yourself down. [2] X Research source
Try a simple grounding technique like sitting in a chair and focusing on what your feet feel like as they touch the floor. This can help you connect with what you feel in the moment and tune out other concerns. Many spiritual practices recommend staying in the moment to promote inner peace and clarity. A simple question to ask yourself is: what can I do right now to change how I feel?
Stick to objective, concrete facts. If you are in a fight, don’t cast blame or guess why the other party is angry. Consider what events lead to the fight, what can be done to end it, and what specifically made you upset. Instead of “I’m really bad with women, it’s my fault that I don’t have a girlfriend,” think “I haven’t found love yet because I haven’t met someone who is truly compatible with me. " If you are having trouble, write your thoughts down and read them back to yourself.
Oftentimes we cannot control our thoughts because we are scared to act on them. Once you make these plans, you need follow through with them. [5] X Research source If your thoughts seem distorted or if you constantly feel out of control, you may need to seek self-help or professional therapy.
Scents like lavender, chamomile, and incense are proven to relax you and may help you get your thoughts under control. [7] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Try taking a walk out in nature. Green space is known to calm the mind, especially if you live in an urban environment. Find a park, beach, or hiking trail and take some time to disconnect. [8] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
If, for example, you are waiting in line or feel out of control in a traffic jam, distract yourself by trying to count down from 100 by 7s. Make a note of the activities that help you relax and work them into your weekly schedule. Remember, however, that this is a short-term solution. You should still work on ways to contain your thoughts when you cannot “escape” them.
Good people to share with include friends, parents, and professional therapists. If you are uncomfortable, start by saying “I have something to get of my chest,” or “I’ve had something on my mind all day, would you mind listening for a moment?”
Thinking about ignoring something, paradoxically, never works. Every time you think about not thinking about something, you are of course thinking about it!
Eating healthy foods and exercising regularly promotes good mental health as well as physical.
Take a few moments each day to pause and take stock of your life. Be aware of your thoughts during “trigger moments”, again forgoing judgment or self-critique.
For example: When someone you love hasn’t called in a while, it is likely because they are busy, or stressed, not sick or in danger.
