It’s understandable that you want to resolve the situation quickly. But respect the other person’s need for space. You can try saying, “Amy, I really want to start working on our relationship. But I understand if you need to take some time. " Be respectful of boundaries. If someone asks you not to call for a few days, then allow them to have the time out that they need.
Do what you say you will do. If you promise to stop being late all the time, show that you have changed by being punctual. Call when you say you will. Remember, you’re trying to rebuild trust. Make a point to stick to everything that you say you will do, even if it’s just making a phone call. Show that you can be counted on. If your boss asks you to file some important papers, get the task done right, and on time.
There are many ways to be affectionate. For example, make it a point to offer a hug when your partner comes home from work. You can give attention by being mindful of the little things. If you notice that your partner needs more coffee, get it without being asked. Use words to illustrate how much you appreciate the other person. You can say something like, “I really appreciate how caring you are. "
Maybe you are trying to convince your boss to trust you again. Volunteer to stay late if he needs someone to help with the end of month reporting. If you are trying to rebuild trust in a friendship, consider going out of your way to do something nice. For example, bring lunch to your friend when you know she’s having a busy day at work. Perhaps you are working on your relationship with your partner. Try doing the dishes or taking out the trash without being asked.
Changing too much won’t seem sincere. For example, if you’re trying to regain your parents’ trust, don’t suddenly begin acting like a different kid. For example, maybe your parents want you to help out more around the house. That doesn’t mean you should stop hanging out with your friends completely. It just means that you should work to find a balance. Don’t attempt to change your personality. If you’ve always been able to joke around with friends, don’t stop now. Becoming completely serious all of the time will not seem sincere.
Make a list of your main points. This list should include an apology, an acceptance of responsibility, and a statement of how you plan to make amends. Practice what you want to say. You can try the apology out loud while looking in the mirror. Ask for time to talk. Try saying, “Lauren, I know you’re upset with me. Is there a time this week when we could sit down and have a conversation?”
If you are trying to rebuild a friendship, tell your friend how you are feeling. You can say, “Sue, I feel very bad that I betrayed your trust. I know it will be hard, but I would like for us to work on repairing our friendship. " State your intentions. If you are communicating with a romantic partner try saying, “I want us to be able to trust one another and I will do what it takes to make that happen. " Be sincere. Whatever you say during your apology, make sure that you mean it. The other person might be able to tell if you’re lying, and that will only further damage your relationship.
Make it clear that you know what you did wrong. If you are trying to regain trust in a professional relationship, you should use specific examples. Be completely honest. If you’re going to rebuild trust after this, the other person needs to know that you’re being open and honest about everything that happened. [9] X Expert Source Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPClinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 2 October 2020. Try saying, “I made a mistake when I did not carefully proofread those documents. I know it cost the company money. " This shows that you understand the ramifications of your actions. You should also use specific examples when talking to a friend. For example, you could say, “John, it was wrong of me to lie and say I had to work late. If I’m going out with other friends, I should just be honest and tell you that. "
Use your body language. Nod your head and make eye contact while the other person is talking. Rephrase the main points. This will show that you are retaining what is being said. For example, you can say, “I hear you saying that you have lost faith in me and that it will take time to rebuild that trust. "
Write a handwritten letter. This is more personal than an e-mail. You should never make an important apology via text. Edit your letter. It might take you a couple of drafts to get the right tone and content. Your letter should be concise and to the point. Try to make it about 3 paragraphs. Your first paragraph can offer the apology, the second should acknowledge responsibility, and the third can describe how you would like to solve the problem.
Try not to rush the process. Acknowledge that the other person might need time to start trusting you again. [13] X Expert Source Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPClinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 2 October 2020. State your point. Try saying, “I know that this process might take time. I understand. Take all of the time you need. " Try not to dwell on the situation. It’s important, but once you have apologized and started taking steps to repair the trust, you don’t need to think about the situation constantly.
It is normal for you to feel guilt, grief, sadness, and frustration. Give yourself permission to feel a wide range of emotions. Acknowledge your emotions and move on. Say to yourself, “Today I’m feeling pretty guilty. But I know I’m taking steps to fix it, so I can’t be too hard on myself. " Understand that your friend is probably experiencing a wide array of emotions. They might be hurt, angry, or sad. That is normal.
Maybe you have violated your boss’s trust. Be prepared to accept a lower level of responsibility at work for a while. If you have compromised the trust in your romantic relationship, you might not be as close as you were before. Your partner might not trust you with intimate feelings for a while. Perhaps you are dealing with a damaged friendship. You might have to accept the fact that your friendship is more superficial than it was before.
Accept the fact that you might have to move on. If someone doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, you can’t force them. Try to find something positive in your life to focus on. Make a list of all of the things you have going for you. Spend time with other people. Focus on enhancing the relationships that you still have.
