Don’t walk around thinking the world revolves around you. An attitude of thinking you deserve everything you want only comes across as obnoxiously selfish. People will not go out of their way to give you what you want, so don’t waste your parents time by complaining to them about every little thing that has not gone your way.
Get good grades, complete your chores on time, help with babysitting, etc. Remember what your parents usually ask of you and complete it before they have to remind you. This responsible behavior will show your parents that you hold their opinions in high regard.
The next time your parents let you stay out late with friends, show your gratitude by saying thank you and making sure they know that just because they let you stay out one night, it doesn’t mean you expect them to give you a later curfew. Do not rise your voice to your parents or treat them with with an aggressive attitude.
Have a movie night at your house or invite everyone to your sibling’s soccer game; two places your parents will most likely be present. If your potential boyfriend is not already friends with your group, have an initial hangout session where he gets to meet your friends. Then take the next step and include him with your friends around your parents.
Make sure to emphasize how this relationship will have a positive effect on your life and how you see yourself. DO NOT say that you “can’t live” without him. Having such an extreme reaction will just show your parents that you are still immature.
The less your potential boyfriend negatively interferes in your relationship with your parents, the more likely your parents will be convinced to let you have a relationship with him. If your parents find out that you were dating this guy in secret before getting their permission, they may demand an end to the relationship.
Having your siblings around may make you feel too vulnerable to honestly open up to your parents. You may be afraid they will try to get their two cents into the conversation. If you are closer to one parent more than the other, focus on having this conversation with them. They will either inform your other parent on their own, or their opinion could be the only one that matters to you.
Wait a few hours after they get home from work so they can calm down and de-stress from their day. Talk with your parents on the weekend during breakfast. They are more likely to be relaxed during this time and may be more willing to discuss, rather than dictate. Don’t bring up the conversation too casually when they are in the middle of doing something, like getting ready for work or taking care of your sibling.
The calmer the environment, the better you will feel about being vulnerable with your parents. If you decide to go for a walk, pick a route you know does not have that many people. If there are strangers around, you may feel anxious they are overhearing your conversation.
Write down how you plan to start your conversation. “Mom, I’d like to talk to you about boys and dating. ” Don’t beat around the bush. “I have a friend who wants to start dating an older guy. "
You want your parents to take you seriously. Do not use an aggressive or whiney tone to convince them. Talk with them in a friendly manner, making sure to actively listen when they speak. Your attitude will dictate theirs.
Your parents may consent to you dating an older guy only if the dates are supervised. Don’t fight, instead do what they say and eventually they may loosen their grip. You may not be allowed to go on dates during the school week. Accept it for now and maybe they will increase your privileges with time.
