If you offer to pay at least part of the cost, you’ll be showing your parents that you take the situation seriously and it will make them more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt. If your parents say no, you can continue saving your money and approach them later, offering to cover even more of the cost to show your commitment.
Take care of your current possessions. Keep what you do have, whether it’s a laptop, tablet, or flip phone, in good shape. Protect it, don’t drop it, don’t lose it, and let your parents see how well you’re taking care of it. Act responsibly by attending to your assigned chores, or, if you don’t have specific chores assigned to you, pay attention to what needs to be done around the house and do it without being asked. Take out the trash, set the trash cans out on trash day and bring them back in afterward, change and wash your sheets, clean the dog poop out of the yard, wash the dishes in the sink, straighten up the living room, etc. The more you demonstrate responsible behavior, the more likely your parents will be to see you as responsible enough for a smartphone.
If it seems like you’re barely getting through your classes as it is, they’re unlikely to want to give you anything to additionally distract you. For the weeks leading up to when you’ll ask your parents, work on doing all your homework, getting As on tests and quizzes, etc.
Choose a time when they’re calm and not stressed or distracted. Don’t pounce on them right when they get home from somewhere–and especially don’t approach them as soon as they’re home from work. Don’t try to open the topic when other people are around. You don’t want potentially jealous siblings in the room, nor do you want to approach your parents if their friends or relatives are around (they’re more likely to be stressed or distracted). [2] X Research source
Open the conversation calmly and maturely with something like, “Do you have a few minutes? There’s something very important I’d like to talk to you about. ” Lead into the discussion with a demonstration that you appreciate the things they’ve already given you and the amount of time and energy they put into helping you on a daily basis. You might say something like, “I really appreciate how much time and effort you put into helping me with my homework and making dinner [or fill in the blanks according to your situation]. And I’m really thankful for the bike you gave me for Christmas because it’s really helping me to get around [or, again, fill in as appropriate]. ”
Taking away the pressure of an immediate response will help your parents listen to what you have to say without immediately making up their minds; when parents have to immediately decide something, the answer is often no. [4] X Research source
Form the question so that you’re opening a dialogue rather than dropping a bombshell. You might, for example, say something like “I’d like to talk with you about getting a smartphone. ”
Explain to your parents that you specifically went out of your way to save this money so that you could take responsibility for part of the cost of the phone. Explain further that you’ll also be invested in the phone, and will thus have a vested interest in taking care of it and not losing it.
Your smartphone will allow you to keep all of your events in one calendar, and–most importantly–it’s a calendar you can share with them so they can see what you’ve got going on. A smartphone’s calendar will help you schedule long-term school projects, thus helping you better manage your time and do better in school. Because you can sync your calendar to your parents’, they can input and set up reminders for important things they need you to remember, like dentist and doctor appointments. If you have a good reason for wanting something, your parents might be more likely to get it for you.
If you’re ever driving somewhere, your phone can guide you and even help you avoid hazards. If you’re walking, your phone can prevent you from getting lost in unfamiliar places. Talk about how a smartphone will help you stay in touch with them at all times. The phone will not only allow you to text or call your parents whenever you need to, but it also has GPS abilities that can allow your parents to know where you are. A number of tracking apps allow you and your family members to keep track of each other, which can be particularly helpful for parents who tend to worry frequently about your whereabouts.
More and more school assignments require internet research, and with a smartphone, you can do your work while waiting for the bus, in between classes, etc. There are all kinds of great study- and productivity-enhancing apps available to download to help you with everything from note-taking to brainstorming to task management. [5] X Research source
Don’t just tell or promise your parents that you’ll do well in school if you have a smartphone. Instead, have physical evidence to back you up–a report card, some exams you aced, a recent project or paper, etc. Explain that not only will a smartphone help you in school now, it will help you continue to excel.
Instead of having separate devices for all of your work and entertainment needs, you can carry just one smartphone. So your parents will have fewer devices to buy and you’ll have fewer gadgets to lose or break.
If they have reservations about what you can access with your smartphone or about how much you might use your smartphone, tell them not to worry. Remind them that they can set parental controls on the phone to put their mind at ease. [6] X Research source Your parents can set controls via your cellular carrier that include limits on the number of texts and calls you can make, as well as the amount of purchases you can make and the amount of data you can use per month. Your parents can also set specific controls using your smartphone’s operating system, including setting up safe search on your phone’s browser and on YouTube. Finally, there are a number of smartphone apps designed specifically to enable additional parental controls on the phone. [7] X Research source
Remind them of how it will help you learn money-management. Not only will you be demonstrating financial responsibility if you offer to pay part of the cost, you can also continue to hone your financial skills with the number of helpful tools and apps available on a smartphone. Certain apps will allow you to draw up a budget and then help you to follow it while others allow your parents to set up a list of chores and a monetary amount for you to receive upon completing them. Talk about your knowledge of responsible phone use: describe your understanding that you shouldn’t–and won’t–send inappropriate text messages or images and tell them you understand that certain kinds of apps will be inappropriate and will let them have final say on what you have on your phone. If you really want to show them how serious you are, tell them that you and they can write up an agreement which you can all sign outlining what you will and won’t do with your phone.
If they say no, accept the answer calmly and patiently. Don’t whine, yell, rant, or plead. If you stay calm and measured, there are a few more steps you can take (see below) to help your cause. Ask them why they’re making that decision (and work on those things if they’re under your control, like doing better in school, getting along with your siblings, etc. ) Be willing to listen to your parents with an open mind, and try not to get defensive—it’s okay if they disagree or see things differently. If they say yes, thank them calmly for hearing you out and for trusting in your responsibility. Don’t launch into a victory dance or start jumping up and down on the couch–it may very well make them reconsider their decision.
So remind them that they’re really delaying the inevitable–it will give them something to think about. But do not remind them of this fact in a whining or self-pitying way–you need to be mature and thoughtful if you want this to work. It might also help to look into how many of your peers have a smartphone. Parents often use their kid’s social group as a good indicator of readiness for their child.
Hounding your parents about the issue is likely to both annoy them (thus hurting your cause) and show them that maybe you really aren’t mature enough for a smartphone (really hurting your cause). Letting the issue rest will also give your parents additional time to think and to consider your arguments. With time, they may come to agree more with your point of view. You can bring the issue up again in several weeks or months. Wait until you have something new and substantial to add to your argument–a straight-A report card, a month’s worth of perfect chores, etc.
Don’t go over your data, text, or call limits. Don’t spend all your time glued to your phone. Pay attention and be present with your friends and family. Don’t pull out your phone at the dinner table or at family gatherings. Don’t set up obnoxious ringtones or sound effects–you want to be able to keep your new phone, right?
