If your family is usually all together for dinner, that would be a good time to ask. Or if your family does relaxes together on Sunday afternoons, that could be an ideal time to talk. [1] X Research source Plan accordingly for big events. If you’re asking about a concert that’s weeks away, don’t wait until the last minute to ask. Parents appreciate preparation, especially when money and transportation will be involved. Last minute plans usually won’t fly with parents, but sometimes you may be able to get permission to go to a low-profile hangout at a friend’s house if you spring it on them. [2] X Research source
Definitely make sure that you’re not in trouble or grounded before you ask for permission. You’ll need to work your way out of being grounded before you can expect your parents to let you do anything extra. Cleaning your room is a great way to show that you are mature. Additionally, it shows you can be organized and helpful. A good time to ask would be when you’ve finished your homework and chores for the week. Or to sweeten the deal, do all of those things on top of cleaning up after dinner. Don’t forget to drop hints every so often so they aren’t so surprised when you tell them.
For example, if you mom is dropping your sister off at soccer practice, you could ask to then be dropped off at the nearby mall since it’s on the way. Coordinate your plans with your parents’. Try not to ask for extra rides too often and instead think about how you can combine trips around town. Avoid asking to skip out on family events to go hang out with friends. Overloading your parents will make them less likely to yes in the future.
Tell them where you are going, who will be with you, how long you will be gone, and what you will be doing. Be completely honest the whole time. If you get caught in any sort of lie, you will lose your parents’ trust. You can’t have too many details. Find out beforehand if you will need transportation, spending money, or reservations if you want to go attend a scheduled event. Start small and work bigger. Before you ask to go on a big week-long trip, try asking to sleep over at a friend’s house for one night first. They may see that you can handle little things and then trust you going out for longer periods of time.
If there are educational benefits, make sure and mention them since your parents will want you to succeed in school.
Inform them of any adult chaperones you’ll be with so they know you’ll be looked after. Even if they already trust you, telling them that you are trustworthy will help strengthen your case.
Even if it looks like your parents are going to say no, try your best to not yell, scream, or cry out of frustration. Don’t threaten or make demands. You won’t be able to convince your parents by threatening to stop doing chores if you can’t go out. You’ll only end up in more trouble.
Siblings have the tendency to report back to parents. This can work in your favor when negotiating since parents will be more trusting if a sibling accompanies you. However, make sure that you do behave if they come along because they still might tattle on you to your parents. [7] X Research source
You can also do some of your other chores without being asked, like taking out the trash. If you don’t have time before asking, promise that you will have all of your responsibilities done before going out. Taking on real responsibility is a great way to demonstrate your maturity to your parents. Being proactive shows your parents that you’re ready to handle an increased amount of responsibility.
If you don’t have adults going with you, don’t lie to your parents and say that there are some. They will find out the lie eventually.
Be subtle and not too obvious. Parents will pick up on lies that you make up about them just to get them to give you something. Don’t overdo it. Butter up your parents but don’t go so overboard that they think you’re faking it.
