Do well in school. Obey curfews. Do your chores. Don’t talk back to your parents. [1] X Research source
Don’t break the law. For example, don’t engage in underage drinking. Avoid friends who are irresponsible or prone to getting into trouble. For example, if your best friend is constantly breaking curfew or getting arrested, your parents may see you as irresponsible because of the association. [2] X Research source
Tell your parents where you go and who you attend events with. If you tell them you’re sleeping over at a friend’s house, but instead you go to a beach party 100 miles away, and they find out, they won’t trust you in the future. Stay away from what you think are harmless lies. For example, if you’re dating someone who is 3 years older than you, don’t tell your parents that the person is just a grade ahead of you. [3] X Research source
Lodging. Air, train, or other transportation expenses. Money you’ll need for food and incidentals. For example, if you’re going to a weekend concert in the Adirondacks, you may want to buy a t-shirt. This should be factored in. Entertainment expenses, like the cost of a ticket to a concert.
Present your parents with a written timeline, detailing when you’ll leave home, when you’ll arrive at your destination, and when you’ll return home. Be able to answer specific questions about the timeline.
Establish the chaperone or authority figure as someone who has a good reputation and is trusted. If you’ll be going on a trip with your friend’s family, point out that your friend’s parents are reliable people that your parents have met. If you’re going to an overnight concert or something similar without an adult, point to the most responsible person as an example of someone who will keep the group grounded. For example, if your friend Alex’s 17-year-old sibling who has already been accepted to Harvard is going, tell your parents. If your parents don’t know the adults or the group of kids you intend to travel with, they’ll probably be unlikely to let you go.
Accept that it is legitimate for your parents to worry about you. After doing this, try to think of ways you can respond to their worries. You may, for example, bring up the fact that your super responsible and successful friend is also going on the trip. Understand that if you don’t have a good past track record – if you’ve lied, broken curfew, or gotten into trouble – your parents may be very reluctant to grant your request. Try to think about specific dangers your parents may focus on. For example, if you want to go on a whitewater rafting trip with friends, they may think you’ll fall overboard and hit your head. Anticipate this, research it, and let your parents know you’ve already thought of those problems. [4] X Research source
Don’t ask right when your parents get home from work. You won’t know the type of mood they’re in. They could have had a bad day. Try to ask after you’ve done something good or achieved something your parents are proud of. For example, wait until you’ve received your report card that shows you’ve earned all As. Try to ask during a happy, non-stressful time. For example, you might want to ask during the weekend at a family picnic. Never ask after you’ve had a fight with your parents or have gotten in trouble for something. [5] X Research source
If your parents are concerned because the trip will include boys and girls, let them know that you’ll be chaperoned and there will be separate sleeping arrangements. If the trip is expensive, and they can’t fund it, be ready to explain how you’ll pay for it. For example, tell them you’ve saved up several hundred dollars from mowing lawns or babysitting, and you’ll use that money. If your parents are concerned that you’re too young for the type of trip, be ready to respond with examples where you’ve handled a similar level of responsibility.
The trip represents an experience you’ll remember for a lifetime. For example, say something like “I think that this trip will be a growing experience for me and will be something I look back to for years. " You’ll be left out and isolated from your friend group if you don’t go. The trip will be enriching for you. It may be an experience you haven’t had yet. If you’re going camping in Great Smoky Mountains National Park with friends, focus on how you’ll be experiencing and learning about a unique ecosystem.
Tell them you’ll call or text them regularly throughout the day. It’s probably best to agree to any contact regimen that they suggest. If they want to talk to you every three hours, you should probably agree. Assure them you’ll keep your cell phone charged and on you at all times. For example, say “I promise that I will keep my phone charged and on me at all times. " Let them know you’ve researched the location and there will be cell phone coverage or some other sort of communication available.
Don’t cut your parents off. Listen to them instead of answering the response in your mind while they’re talking. Pause before you respond to them. For example, count to three in your head before saying anything. [6] X Research source
Don’t become defensive and act is if their questions are a personal attack. Avoid uttering phrases like “that’s not fair” or “you always say no. ” When responding to a point your parents made, start by saying “I understand your concern” and then answer them thoughtfully and respectfully. [7] X Research source
Assure them that you respect the decision they’ve made. If they’ve granted your request, thank them and promise them you will keep your word. If they’ve denied your request, tell them you understand the reasons why, and in the future you hope to better address their concerns. Don’t try to go on the trip without their decision. If you do, you’ll likely get in a lot of trouble. You may be grounded, lose your allowance, and be denied similar opportunities in the future. [8] X Research source
