You don’t want to bombard your parents when they’re already busy or stressed. Aim to talk at a time when your parents are normally at ease. For example, say your parents usually unwind and watch television on Wednesday nights. This may be a good time to approach them instead of, say, approaching them on a Tuesday night, when they both have busy schedules.
Oftentimes, redecoration is about something deeper. Maybe you’re getting older and your room no longer reflects your personality. Maybe your tastes have changed over the years, and you want something that reflects your individuality. Instead of just talking about your plans to redecorate, show your parents why it’s important to you. Talk about how your room is your sanctuary, and how you want it to express the person you are becoming.
Find some specific ways you can offer a trade. Think about things your parents value. Is there anything they frequently want you to do differently? Maybe they want you to bring your grades up or help out around the house more. Offer a few specific things you’ll change if your parents let you redecorate your room. You can, for example, agree to keep your room cleaner in exchange for being allowed to redecorate.
Figure out how you’ll get your parents attention. For example, practice saying something like, “Mom, Dad, could I talk to you?” Practice your opening sentence a few times in front of the mirror. It doesn’t have to be too elaborate. Something as simple as, “I wanted to talk about my room” can be sufficient.
Say something like, “I know you guys work really hard so we can have this great house. I really appreciate being able to have my own room and my own space. " You want to make sure your parents know you appreciate what you have in the present. You need to let them know you do appreciate your room, even if you want to change it.
Tell them what your ideal is for redecoration. For example, “Ideally, I want to repaint the room in a color I like. I don’t really like yellow anymore, so I would really like to paint it blue or green. " Keep in mind, not all of your requests may be met. Tell your parents what you want directly, but be prepared to potentially compromise.
Tell them how you plan to help pay for the re-decorations. For example, you can say something like, “I’ve been saving about $30 of my babysitting money every month for awhile now. I can put that towards paint. "
For example, your parents may worry about your tastes changing fast. If you’re still young, you may change your mind again in the future. It’s likely you’ve cycled through a variety of favorite colors and styles in the past few years, and your parents may not want to waste money redecorating if you’re going to want to redo your room again before long. Try to really consider their point of view. Reflect on your tastes, and how quickly they change. Maybe you want to paint your room green, but green has only been your favorite color for a few months. It may be reasonable to hold off on repainting until your tastes are more stable.
Even if you’re getting frustrated, watch your tone. A friendly, respectful tone will be more effective than raising your voice or complaining.
For example, say your parents say “No” to repainting. It’s expensive and time consuming, and they’re worried you’ll change your mind in the future. Try to see if they’d be willing to meet you halfway. Instead of repainting, maybe they would let you put up some temporary wallpaper.
