Once you know that you have issues to address, you need to find a way to communicate this to other people in a controlled way. A list will help you do that. Under the “concerns” area you might write, “I feel depressed all the time,” or, “I am angry and lose my temper for no reason. " Under the “How can a psychologist help?” area you might write, “They can show me the positives in life, like how I have a loving family,” or, “They can give me some ideas about how to calm down. "

Don’t forget to include questions, as your parents will surely have some. They could ask, “What have we done wrong?” Or, “Why are you just telling us now?” Practicing answering will help you handle these difficult moments easier when they really happen.

Your school counselor can provide you with a referral or help seeking outside treatment from a psychologist. Talking with your school counselor and getting their recommendation to see a counselor can also help make it easier to convince your parents.

You will want to hand these papers to your parents in the middle of the conversation, not at the start or end. You should tell your story first and just use this information as back-up research.

Be aware that many therapists will meet with your parents for an initial time, free of charge. This gives your parents a chance to ask any questions that they might have. Don’t get completely set on your first choice. It is very common to switch therapists multiple times. Like any relationship, you have to take a bit of time to find the right fit. [5] X Research source

This research can all be done over the phone and anonymously, so don’t worry about your parents finding out at this point. If needed, you can also tell your parents that you are willing to get a job in order to pay, or supplement, the cost of a therapist. You can consider this an investment in your happiness and future. You might even ask your parents for your insurance card ahead of time so that you can verify whether or not a therapist will accept your insurance. Ask the therapists that you call about whether or not they have a sliding scale fee. This is often offered to clients who cannot afford to pay the full amount. Check with local colleges to find out if they offer any free counseling sessions to community members. They may have graduate students who need to provide counseling sessions to meet the requirements of their degree program.

You might approach your parents earlier in the day and say, “I have something really important that I need to talk to you about. Can we talk after dinner?”

Your parents will most likely ask how a psychologist could help you. You might tell them that, “I need to speak with an objective adult. ” Or, “I need to talk with someone outside the family in order to better understand myself. ”[9] X Research source Reassure them that this is about you, not them.

If questioned about your goals, you could say, “I want to feel happy more often. I want to be able to appreciate all the great opportunities you all have given me. ”

If, instead of starting as planned, you run into your parents and loose emotional control by crying, etc. , you may want to take five minutes to compose yourself before continuing. Just say, “Give me a few minutes and we can talk. ” Do your best to avoid aggressive arguing. Disagreements may happen, but yelling or shouting really does no good in the end. If you feel as if you are headed in that direction, pause and count to five before speaking again. If your parents are yelling, tell them that you will need to talk later when everyone calms down.

An example of an example might be, “I have no friends at school right now. I just don’t feel like I can trust anyone. ”

Part of the compromise might be telling them how else they can help. You might suggest planning additional activities together or helping you with your homework. [13] X Research source

Remember that words (especially written ones) can hurt, so take your time when creating this letter. A good test is to ask yourself, “Will I agree with the contents of this letter five years from now?”

A school counselor is a particularly good choice. They can maintain confidentiality while also explaining to your parents what a therapist actually does. Plus, they most likely can back-up the examples that you have described before. [14] X Trustworthy Source Child Mind Institute Nonprofit organization providing evidence-based care for children with mental health and learning disorders and their families Go to source

It may be helpful to ask your parents about their feelings too, and not just as it relates to you. Maybe say, “Do you enjoy your job? Why?”

Keep in mind that your parents may be required to meet with the psychologist alone first so that they can provide their consent for the psychologist to treat you. During this meeting, your parents may ask questions to determine if the psychologist will be a good fit for you.

Make sure to eat three regularly scheduled and healthy meals a day. Try to exercise three times a week, even if this just means taking long walks. Get enough sleep at night, aim for at least eight hours.

If you don’t feel that you need immediate help, try talking with a teacher, school counselor, or friend about your feelings. Just keep in mind that if you do tell a teacher or school counselor that you are thinking of hurting yourself, then they will need to report this for your protection. In the US, you can also contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. [16] X Research source