Call up your friends and candidly say, “Yes, I lost my spouse, but I didn’t expect to lose you, too. What’s going on with us? I miss you!”
You might say, “Jessica, it would be great if we could continue our Thursday night movies together. I could use a distraction at least once a week. ” Or, say something like “Carl, you are so good with kids. Do you mind taking the children to the park this Saturday?" You might ask one friend to text you an encouraging quote a few times each week, or ask another friend to be your go-to person for a laugh when you need it.
If a friend judges you for dating too soon, look at it as an opportunity to share your feelings of loss and loneliness and that you feel it is appropriate to move forward with your life. Explain by saying, “My husband has been gone for a year-and-a-half, and I know he would not want me to spend the rest of my life in mourning. "
Maybe you once didn’t have gatherings at home, but now you do. Don’t think you have to maintain the same equilibrium that existed before your spouse died. It’s okay to not stay in contact with their friends.
Challenge yourself to call up a different person every day. Ask people over for dinner or drinks a few times each month. If you are interested in having a fulfilling social life, you will have to build a habit of taking initiative. [4] X Research source
Set a goal to go on an outing at least once a week. Join a support group for others who are going through the same experience. [5] X Research source Go to church or a meditation class for spiritual enrichment. Spend time with people who value you and see you as you truly are.
Start a volunteer commitment with a local community organization. Join a cooking or pottery class. Start a new exercise habit such as visiting the gym or going hiking.
Connect with people you knew way back when, such as high school or college buddies. Join an online dating site. And, be sure to follow safe practices. [7] X Research source Keep an open mind. Try not to compare every new person to your spouse. Save intimacy for when you’re ready. Be clear with your date about your need for time.
Imagine how you would feel in their shoes. Would you know exactly the right thing to say or do?
Find the confidence within yourself to not keep around friends who are toxic, judgmental, or unreliable. If you used to spend time with a lot of couples, they may not know if you still want to attend their events. Let your friends know if you do.
