Write down your thoughts in a journal. Talk to someone you trust who might be able to point out issues you never considered.
Allow yourself to cry.
Set a time limit daily to think about the estrangement and then commit to doing other things afterwards. Read a book, watch TV, or go out to get your mind off things. Physically active things and creative endeavors are an especially good idea.
Tell your spouse that you love them and do kind things for them. Plan things with your friends. Set goals for yourself at home and at work.
Set aside time each day that is just for you. Some days you will need to devote more time to your self-care. For example, if there has been a recent negative interaction with your child, then you might need to spend some more time on self-care.
Mail the letter or give it to a relative to deliver to them. You can also choose to keep the letter. This is a great way to get your feelings out without fear of rejection from your child should they not reach out.
You can also show your love through performing random acts of kindness for them.
You can say “I love you, but I refuse to fight with you. Do you want to walk away for a moment to calm down and then we can talk again?” There might be times when you have to accept that a pause in communication is the best. Turn to your self-care at these times. If the situation escalates to violence, leave immediately and call for help if necessary.
Send them birthday cards to let them know you care and have them in your thoughts.
Sometimes things change and tensions lessen over time. Life is not static. Perhaps your adult child recently became a parent, and they are more receptive.
