Keep in mind how many times you’ve been nagged to do this one thing before. If it’s something small and they’ve been bothering you about it for weeks, it’s probably much easier to oblige them rather than hold off.
For example: If you’re asked to take out the garbage multiple times, you can reply simply: “I will take out the garbage soon. " Keep it short and vague. Another example: If your parents are harassing you to get a job, you can respond by saying “I can just as easily do that on my own time. " Keep the wording similar or the same each time; that way, it’ll be that much more obvious that you’re getting fed up of the repetition. It’s important not to do this in an aggressive, or passive-aggressive way. You’re not trying to start a fight here; you’re just trying to cope with the nagging for the time being.
Placing a defined time limit on when you’ll finish the task not only gives you extra liberty to tackle the chore as you see fit; it will also relieve the parent’s pressure to keep asking you.
For example, you can say: “I understand and appreciate what you’re saying, but repeating it constantly isn’t going to make life better for either of us. " While this might sound aggressive, you can certainly word it in such a way that it does not antagonize them.
Especially if most of your relationship with your parents is defined by a lack of communication and tendency to argue, openly communicating can be a very difficult thing to accomplish. Be patient if it doesn’t come naturally at first; say what you feel, ask what they’re looking for, and let them know they have your ear if something ever bothers them. From there, the pieces will fall into place given time.
The strongest example of this would be if you’re going out at night. While most parents will want the know where, and with whom you’re going, writing the basic details down on a piece of paper and giving it to them will likely set their hearts at rest. To some extent, this advice could also apply to your parents bothering you about chores. Instead of waiting for them to nag you, doing the scheduled task ahead of time will put you at an advantage; you won’t be doing any more work than you’d usually be doing, but you’ll have proven that you’re responsible and proactive, and that nagging you serves no productive purpose.
If they’re asking you to do a new chore, it’s possible they’re busier than usual and need help, or maybe they want to entrust more responsibilities to you now that you’re older. If they’re nagging you to tell them where you’re going for the evening, it’s very likely that they’re concerned for your safety and want to know enough about the situation that they won’t be left worrying while you’re out.
Stay calm throughout your interactions with your parents. This is especially true if your parents are upset. If both parties are angry, each side’s anger can play off the other, creating a much bigger mess. [6] X Research source
Reverse psychology works well in creating the illusion of power. Getting your parents to think they want you to do something you wanted to do yourself all along is a good way to ease their nagging while still getting your own way!
Giving a timeline helps both them and you; they’ll know you haven’t forgotten it (unless the time passes) and you’ll feel that much more motivated to finish it in time.
If your parents are approaching you in a particularly aggressive or annoying way, it’s best to placate them instead of directly confronting them about their behaviour at the time. Rather, it’s better to wait until they’ve calmed down to bring up the issue. If your parent has had some time to think about it already, it’s quite possible they’ll already feel remorse for their actions and apologize to you outright. It’s important to keep in mind that parents don’t like having these arguments any more than you do. Solving these disagreements and preventing them in the future serves to benefit them as much as it does you.
