You may try doing deep breathing exercises, where you close your eyes and inhale deeply in your nose from your diaphragm, followed by a deep exhale out your nose. You may do deep breathing a few times to calm down and block out the annoying person.
You may try repeating a word in your mind to help you not react to the person. This word may be “compassion” or “acceptance”. Try saying the word in your mind over and over until it becomes a mantra for you to lean on.
For example, perhaps the person who is always pointing out the negatives of every situation did not have a very happy childhood and tends to see only the worst possible outcomes. Or maybe the family member who is often too happy and excited about everything is in fact lonely and isolated in their social life, leading them to try to always project a sense of happiness.
”Hmm, I’m glad you mentioned that because…” “That’s interesting. I don’t know the first thing about that!” “It was nice to see you, but I have to run!” “I’m sorry. I don’t have time to talk right now. Maybe some other time. ”[4] X Research source
Getting enough sleep. Eating healthy foods. Exercising regularly. Making time to relax.
You may try to limit the amount of time you spend with the person, such as only chatting to them briefly in the morning at work and leaving the office for lunch. Or you may only answer their calls or texts when you have free time rather than answering them right away. You may also try to remain calm and detached when they speak to in meetings or social situations where you cannot excuse yourself. Doing this can set up personal boundaries for you to help you cope with the person’s irritating nature. For example, if the annoying person starts talking too loudly at a family dinner, you may try to stay detached and focus on something else in your mind. This will allow you to block out the person and stay calm.
One way you can appear positive is by maintaining open body language. This means maintaining eye contact with the person and nodding to show them you are not fazed by them. You should also keep your arms relaxed and by your sides. Avoid responding to the person with a passive aggressive comment or a snide remark. Instead, say something simple and polite like, “Thank you for sharing that with me” or “Sounds great. ”
You may try to keep your distance for a set period of time so that you have some space away from the person. Maybe you skip a family get together to take a small break from hanging out with the person. Or maybe you try to choose assignments at work that do not involve the person so you can have some space away from them.
For example, you may be annoyed by the fact that your co-worker always comes into meetings late and appears disorganized in front of clients. You may then realize that you are annoyed by her behavior overall and how unprofessional she is acting. Another example might be that you are annoyed with how your family member always talks about themselves and ignores the problems of others. You may realize that you are annoyed by him because he is not considerate of others.
Always use “I” statements and avoid placing blame or accusing the person. For example, “I feel” or “I think. " You may start the discussion by saying, “Listen, I need to let you know that I am feeling annoyed at your behavior. ” You may then expand your thoughts and be honest about why you are annoyed by the person. You may say, “I feel as though your tardiness to meetings and your disorganization is reflecting badly on our team and the company as a whole. I am concerned that you are coming across as unprofessional to clients. ” Or, you may say to your family member, “I feel as though you are not being considerate of others and are only focusing on your needs. I am concerned that you are not being as aware of others and their issues as you could be. "
You should ask them directly, “What can I do to support you better?” or “How can I help you improve?” Show them you want to collaborate and work together to address the issue.
You should try to enlist support leading up to the conversation with the person who annoys you as well, as your co-workers or friends may be able to give you suggestions on how to address the issue. Make sure you do not gossip or trash talk to person with people in their workspace, their friend group or in your family, as this could just make the problem worse. Instead, try to talk about them respectfully with others and solicit advice on how to best handle the situation.
