You may be surprised to learn that communities exist to bring diaper wearers together. It is possible to meet other people that have the same feelings and behaviors as you.
Explore the feelings you have about wearing a diaper and acknowledge all of them, both positive and negative. Ask yourself how wearing a diaper contributes to your self-perception and identity. Some negative feelings that may come up are fear of others finding out, or feelings of guilt or shame. You may be experiencing a lot of self-criticism. Especially if you want people to be understanding of you, it’s important that you understand your own motivations and feelings first. One way you can confront and work through these feelings is through journaling. The process of journaling allows you to define and get some distance from your emotions. Taking even just a few minutes each day to write down how you are feeling can bring clarity to your thoughts and feelings. [2] X Research source
When dealing with shame, you can say, “I feel ashamed because society looks down on adult diaper wearing, but I don’t have to conform to societal expectations” and “I accept myself as I am. ” Remind yourself that it’s okay to find pleasure and satisfaction in wearing a diaper. Try treating yourself as you would a dearly loved friend. Show yourself the same care and affection you would show your friend.
Guilt is supposed to signal a person that he is doing something wrong or harmful — if you feel guilt after eating an entire cake, that’s your brain telling you that this behavior is unhealthy and harmful. [4] X Research source Or, to put it another way, guilt is the feeling you have done something bad, shame is the feeling you are bad. [5] X Research source But experiencing guilt over your identity as a diaper lover is “unhealthy” guilt, because what you are doing is not hurting you or anyone else. If guilt exists to help us learn from our mistakes, what you must learn is how to change your mindset and accept this part of you. One way to heal shame is to accept that you have no control over the feelings and behaviors of others. People have the choice to be open and understanding, judgmental and closed off — and these choices have nothing to do with you. Once you stop taking other’s behavior personally, you may begin to feel your shame lessen. [6] X Research source
If you are concerned about other people discovering your diaper wearing, you can choose to wear diapers in private or while you are alone.
If you’ve previously felt misunderstood or if you feel the weight of carrying the secret of being a diaper lover, being a part of a community of diaper lovers can be a huge relief to help you realize that you are not alone. Not all people who wear diapers want to belong to a community. It’s up to you to decide if you want to engage with other people who also wear diapers.
Most diaper lovers are male, employed, and in their mid-30’s. [10] X Research source Some adult diaper lovers express a different gender than the one assigned at birth or express gender fluidity. [11] X Research source
Some people use diapers to feel comfortable or for sexual foreplay. The behavior is not necessarily tied to baby or infant lifestyle.
It’s okay to enjoy wearing diapers whether you experience incontinence or not.
Don’t fear relationships or telling a partner about your diaper wearing. While some people may not understand, you may be surprised that many are willing to engage the behaviors and lifestyle.
Let your partner know you want to talk to them about something intimate that’s important to your heart. Say, “It’s important to be honest with you and show you all of who I am. Part of who I am is a diaper lover. ” Be open to answer any questions your partner may have. Appeal to your partner. If your partner believes in being sexually adventurous, say “I know you enjoy being sexually adventurous, and this is a new adventure to practice together. ”[12] X Research source Create boundaries that both you and your partner feel comfortable within. For instance, you may want to start small and work your way up, such as wearing diapers around the house at first, then bringing them into more intimate settings. Use clear communication to make sure you both feel comfortable and are happy with the boundaries.
If you’d like to discreetly wear a diaper in public, wear loose clothing to hide the diaper bulge and keep diaper-wrinkling noise to a minimum. Wearing diapers to bed is a popular option.
If it makes you feel more comfortable, have a good story for why you might own them for those “just in case” scenarios.
