Determining your child’s medical history (i. e. any medical conditions, medications, history of substance use, head injuries, etc. ) Performing a mental status exam Getting labs ordered (i. e. toxicology screenings, blood glucose, complete blood count, etc. ) Assessing your child for common mental disorders that accompany suicide attempts, such as depression or alcohol abuse Evaluating their support system Evaluating their coping resources Assessing for the likelihood of a second attempt
Be certain that you have a referral or appointment scheduled for an outpatient psychologist, psychiatrist, or counselor. Make sure you have any prescriptions in hand so that you can get them filled as soon as possible.
This form outlines coping strategies your child can apply on their own when they feel suicidal, such as exercising, praying, listening to music, or journal writing. The plan also lists your child’s support network like friends, family members, and spiritual advisors that your child can reach out to for help. In addition, contact numbers for mental health providers and suicide hotlines are provided. The plan will also discuss what means your child has for dying by suicide and ways they can reduce their access to these potential weapons. Your child will be asked about the likelihood of following the safety plan and the importance of compliance will be emphasized.
depression or particularly low mood for an extended period of time loss of interest in normally pleasurable activities feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or hopelessness remarkable change in personality substance use withdrawal from family, friends, and regular activities giving away possessions talking or writing about death or suicide decline in performance in school or work
Support groups are also available to guide families through the difficult time of coping with a loved one who has attempted suicide.
One type of family therapy, called Attachment-Based Family Therapy (ABFT), has been proven to be effective in improving the functioning and relationships of the family after a suicide attempt. This form of therapy strives to get adolescents and their families working together to problem-solve and increase communication. Adolescents are seen one-on-one to identify barriers in the family that prevent communication and develop skills to overcome those barriers. Then, parents are seen one-on-one to learn healthier parenting strategies and how to be more loving and supporting with the children. Finally, everyone meets together to build skills that improve functioning and communication. During this time it is important to work on your relationship with all of your children. The other siblings may be emotionally neglected after one child has attempted suicide. Some of these issues may be addressed in family therapy. Still, make an effort to talk to each of your children about how they are coping during this trying time.
Immediately after, resist the urge to ask “why?” or assign blame. The details will eventually come out. The important thing right now is that your child is alive. You need to express love, concern, and appreciation that they are still here with you, that you have a second chance. Avoid reprimanding your child or teenager. This may only make the situation worse and perhaps even push them to make a second attempt. Use “I” statements and openly tell your child how scared and upset you were. Prompts for talking with your child may include: I feel terrible that you did not feel you could come to me with a problem. I am here now, though, so please tell me how you truly feel. That way, I can help you to feel better and be happier. " I’m so sorry that I didn’t know something was wrong. I want you to know that I love you and, no matter what, we will get through this as a family. I understand you must be hurting. Tell me how I can help you.
Panicking, punishing, blaming and criticizing will not help your child or your family. If you have the urge to do these things, take time away for yourself. Ask a friend or family member to supervise your child and get some alone time. Write down your thoughts. Pray. Meditate. Listen to relaxing music. Go for a walk. If you must, cry your eyes out.
Be discerning about who you turn to for help. Find people who are supportive and encouraging—sometimes even trusted friends can be unexpectedly judgmental. [9] X Expert Source Catherine Boswell, PhDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 18 December 2020. If you are having difficulty coming to terms with what’s happened, if you cannot control your anger or hurt feelings, or if you constantly blame yourself and your parenting skills for your child’s suicide attempt, you should see a counselor. Reach out to a support group or one of your child’s mental health providers for a referral to a professional who can help you sort through these feelings.
For example, your child may have tried to take their life because they are being bullied or as a result of sexual molestation or assault. Your child may also be struggling with their sexual identity or a drug or alcohol problem, which may also put them at a significantly higher risk for suicide. Be willing to own your part of what might have gone wrong or what you might have missed, and make an effort to change what you can. [11] X Expert Source Catherine Boswell, PhDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 18 December 2020.
Do what you can to minimize arguing and keep the emotional climate of the household calm and encouraging. Plan entertaining family activities like game nights or movie night to stimulate bonding.
Do your best to hold on to the love and compassion you have for your child during this difficult time. [13] X Expert Source Catherine Boswell, PhDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 18 December 2020. Periodically check in with your child to monitor progress in treatment and to ask how they have been coping. These gentle and frequent check-ins may help you notice signs if your child’s emotional state is deteriorating. [14] X Research source In the younger years, kids tend to be “open books”. However, once they are in elementary school, they start to become tight-lipped. Avoid asking close-ended questions if you want to get your child talking. Also, refrain from using “why” in a question as it can lead to them clamming up or becoming defensive. Instead, use open-ended questions that require a more lengthy answer beyond “yes” or “no”. For example, “What was good about your day today?” is more likely to get your child to open up rather than “How was your day?”, which could lead to a one-word response such as “fine” or “good” that is a conversation ender. It may also be a good idea to start a dialogue with your entire family. Get everyone comfortable talking about their day-to-day interactions at school or work. Doing so can make it easier for your children to discuss potential problem areas, which will aid immensely in preventing future suicide attempts.
New research shows that bullied students demonstrate a 23% decrease in suicidal ideation or attempts when they engage in physical activity at least four days per week. [15] X Research source
