For example, you might say “I get overwhelmed when you rush me with my work. This project will take a few hours. Can you hold off on checking in until tomorrow?” Be sure to comment on the behavior as the issue, not the person. Because you know this person well you want to focus on the short-term behavior while maintaining the positive side of your day-to-day relationship. Don’t stir the pot, instead confront the immediate problem and move on.
Focus on words that acknowledge the behavior and does not try to downplay the reaction. For example, if the person appears angry about having to wait, you might start with “You appear angry (or stressed, tired, upset, etc. ), what can I do to help?”. This starts a conversation and avoids more conflict.
Even if you can’t immediately give impatient people what they are asking for, giving them a timeline or an update can often soothe their discomfort for the time being.
Practice deep breathing. Inhale air through your mouth for 4 counts. Hold the breath for 7 counts and then slowly exhale for 8 counts. Repeat this until you regain your composure. Ask the person for a break. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts and calm yourself down. Call a friend or take a quick walk. Then, come back to sort out the issue once you have cooled off. Find a mediator. Some people are just hard to work with. Look for a superior or other individual who can mediate a discussion between you and the impatient person. This prevents you from getting wound up. The impartial person can help sort out the problem without being emotionally involved.
Ignoring is a great approach for people you do not see on a regular basis or only know in passing. If there isn’t an ongoing relationship, it might just be a waste of time to focus too much time on the behavior.
How you respond to impatience in everyday life will generally depend on your relationship with the impatient individual. Be proactive about handling impatience based on your relationship with the offending person. For example, if you know your boss gets really fussy about reports being turned in at the last minute, push aside other work to have your report turned in early. If you are unable to prioritize helping the impatient person, try to work out a schedule with the individual that meets both your needs. Let him or her know that you see the anxiety and would like to find a solution. Once a schedule has been agreed upon, be sure to stick to it to minimize impatience in the future.
Plan a time to sit down with your partner and discuss the source of impatience. Does your boyfriend get impatient because you take too long to get ready for dates? Does your wife grow impatient when you can’t make up your mind on what you want for dinner? Both individuals should try to express the issue to their partners. “I feel anxious when you are impatient with me. What can I do to minimize you feeling this way?” Next, try to devise a solution that takes both individuals into account. For example, maybe the boyfriend can arrive a few minutes late to pick up his girlfriend to allow her a few minutes extra to dress. Or, she can get the basics done and finish her makeup or hair in the car. You might also work together to come up with a cue word or phrase that you can say when you feel like they’re becoming impatient with you. [7] X Expert Source Sarah Schewitz, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.
For a small child that becomes impatient when you are busy or preoccupied, you may be able to provide a toy, activity, or snack to temporarily distract until you are capable of attending to his or her needs. For a teen, the solution will depend on the context. Say your teen gets impatient when she has to wait on you to finish a phone call. You can ask her to write down what she needs and prepare her thoughts on the subject while you finish the call. If your teenage son gets impatient because his soccer uniform isn’t being washed in a timely fashion, he can give you a head’s up when he will need it so you can wash it promptly. Alternatively, you can teach him to do his own laundry. Or, you can purchase two uniforms so that one is always clean.
Stress can be a cause of impatience. Addressing the overall stress of a given situation can improve the environment for everyone involved and make it safer for your overall health. Instead of arguing over the obvious impatience, look at the long term stress as something that can be changed. [10] X Research source
A big part of empathy can be tied to clearly understanding how your part of the assignment or task at hand affects others. For example, if your coworkers have to wait for your part of a report to start theirs, it might make sense that they are impatient if they do not know where the report stands.
Count to 100 silently. This forces you to focus on nothing beyond counting and slowing your heart rate to a more relaxed rate. Practice regular self-care. Your self-care will depend on what makes you relaxed and centered. Some people enjoy a good, hard workout to rejuvenate while others like the quiet time with a good book or meditation. [16] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
