Respecting the different opinions of others is part of a healthy relationship. You can agree to disagree without it hurting anyone’s feelings or upsetting your relationship. This can be more challenging with parents as there is often a sense of “we”, implying that “we” have the same beliefs, values and opinions. In the case of an argument, don’t make it personal! Avoid attacking their beliefs, values, opinions or perspectives. Share your perspective using “I” statements and focus on your own thoughts and feelings. Watch out for expectations! It’s OK if they disagree, you can still respect each other, but don’t expect them to change their minds or their opinions.
Go that extra mile to take care of their needs, regardless of what differences you may have. Parents may not say it often enough, but even your smallest, slightest gesture toward them makes them feel loved and fill the void created by generation gaps. Try cooking their favorite meal, leaving a sweet note on the counter for them, or doing a household chore that they typically take care of. Never forget to show your appreciation for having them allow you to live in their home.
Even if you become annoyed by their many, perhaps slightly infuriating habits, remember they’ve always been there for you; and don’t think for a second they haven’t felt the same way at some point about your actions. They too have had to endure your “many, perhaps slightly infuriating” habits when you were a child or an adolescent, or even as an adult. Patience is the key to a happy life.
If you treat your parents as a gift rather than a nuisance then you will enjoy the fruit of their hard work and unconditional love. Remember, there were times when you were young and may have acted like a “nuisance”, yet they always treated you like a blessing from above. Treating them the same way they did to you is the only way to repay their kindness. Just remember that you are lucky to have parents. Imagine what life would be like without them. Once they are gone from this earth, they are still here in spirit but not physically present to be able to hug. Never feel bad about living with your parents. They love you more than you could ever imagine. If you have a problem tell them and come to an agreement, don’t go overboard as you are living in their house! Do not treat them as burden. If you treat your parents as an additional responsibility, then it is more likely that you will not be able to enjoy the process of being with them. Try to enjoy their association, just as a kid, which you used to do. Realize that now a role reversal has taken place. Your parents are now in your role as kid, and you are going to take care of them as grown up. Implant happiness in this relationship. Celebrate birthday, marriage anniversaries together with hugs and cuddle. Lighten up their lives! Let your kids play with your parents. If you have children, ensure that they spend time with their grannies and grandpas. Given this fast world, when couples are sharing financial burdens together, you need to ensure that somebody takes care of the children in the home. Who can give better security and take care for your children than your parents? Also, when your kids see how you are taking care of your parents, it is more likely that they are also going to take care of you in future. Examples are more than spoken words, aren’t they?
