Tell him that courtship is something you take seriously because it’s a great way to spend time together while still respecting your religious values. It’s also a good way to build a solid foundation for a relationship.
This means that you should try to project a warm, welcoming smile whenever you are around him. You should also have open body language – uncrossed arms, open space between you (don’t hold objects, like your purse, in front of your body), and direct eye contact.
Remember to send him cute little messages when you are apart, especially if it’s for an extended period of time. Even something as simple as “I’m thinking about you!” can really brighten his day. Do small things to show him you care – like making him dinner as a surprise, getting concert tickets to a band he likes, or planning an unexpected day trip somewhere fun.
Invite him and his friends over to watch a sporting event. Or make arrangements to go to a live concert as a group. You can even just try to tag along with the friends when they already have something planned. Just be careful to read the situation to make sure it’s okay that you join in.
Don’t ask him all the questions at once. You don’t want to seem like you’re interrogating him. But, over time, bring up an important question every now and then when you have some alone time together. Ask him about his experiences growing up. Where did he live? What schools did he go to? Did he get along with his siblings? Where did his family go on vacations? Ask him about past relationships. How many romantic partners has he had in the past? How long was his longest relationship? What were some of the reasons those relationships ended? It might also be a good idea to bring up sexual history – ask how many sexual partners he has had.
Maybe you have a similar taste in movies or music. Ask him what his favorite books and TV shows are. These are great ways to bond with a man you are trying to court, especially in the beginning of a new courtship. If you enjoy some of the same activities (playing or watching sports, traveling to new places, going to the beach, bicycling around town, going to the dog park), you should make an effort to do these activities together so that you can bond and get to know each other better.
Start slow with a dinner or a weekend visit. As you get closer to your man, try to spend holidays or longer visits with him and his family to make sure that you feel included in the family dynamic and you are comfortable around them. Seeing how a man interacts with his family can often be a good indicator of how he’ll treat you over time.
If you want to get married and he doesn’t, then this isn’t a good match. If you want to have children in the future and he doesn’t, then that could cause major problems in the future. If he always wants to live in his hometown and you want to travel or experience a new city, this might be problematic for your relationship down the road.
If one person has different expectations than the other, this can cause a lot of problems. Even if you have different desired levels of physical intimacy, you can usually negotiate this difference if you communicate honestly and openly with each other.
Being chaperoned will also help others (especially your family) observe your relationship so that they are better able to give their support when the time comes for marriage.
Your parents can be a great source of relationship advice, especially if they are participating in your courtship by chaperoning you.
