Nod occasionally and appear engaged by leaning in and keeping an open posture. Maintain eye contact to show that you’re engaged. Encourage him to go on by saying, “Uh huh” or, “I see” to show that you’re listening.
For example, say, “You were working on a project in your garage, did you finish it?”
Maybe you both enjoy playing video games, ice skating, or watching movies.
For example, say, “I always enjoy learning more about you” or, “I didn’t know that about you, thanks for sharing. ”
Start with a simple, “How was your day?” or, “How are you doing?”
Show an interest in what he enjoys and approach things you don’t know with curiosity.
Ask open-ended questions. For example, instead of saying, “Was work good?” say, “How was work?” For example, if your boyfriend is telling you about his family, ask, “How many siblings do you have?” However, don’t bombard your boyfriend with lots of questions. This can feel overwhelming and make him shut down. Space out these questions over the conversation, and give him time to think over his answers.
Avoid whining or complaining. This isn’t the way to connect with your boyfriend.
If you want to know why your boyfriend is silent, say, “What’s going on?” instead of jumping to conclusions. Your boyfriend may not like being accused of feeling low or sad or mad just because he is quiet.
However, if he’s talkative with other people but just not you, there might be a problem. If you think he is mad and there’s reason to be, say something.
For example, if he looks sad, say, “You look sad. What’s going on?”
For example, if you’re feeling annoyed at failed attempts to connect, take a few deep breaths. Leave the room for a few minutes so you can return feeling better.
