As you set out to create your ideal relationship, make sure you consider what you want from it. If you are looking for stability and security, search for a partner with those traits. If you want attention and affection, look for someone who gives you that. Be clear with yourself about what you want from the beginning. Take time to get to know yourself to learn more about what you want from a relationship. Ask yourself questions such as, “Do I like me? Are there things I don’t like about myself that I would like to change? Are there qualities in others that will enlighten the qualities within myself? Do I like myself enough to even be fully invested in providing the quality of attention that my significant other may need?”
This doesn’t mean that you should forget everything that ever happened to you. Rather, work on learning from your past experiences and moving forward. Recovering from a breakup is a process with ups and downs. Learn and move forward, but be patient with yourself. For example, think about your past relationships and why they didn’t work out. If there is something about your former partners’ characters that influenced the failure of the relationship, keep these qualities in mind as things to avoid when searching for a new partner. As you reflect on past relationships to identify “failures” and why you are no longer with the individual, think about what you have learned from that experience. Ask yourself questions like, “What did I learn and take away from my past experiences? What has changed that may make a new relationship better?”
Be aware when you and/or your partner may be having a bad day. Be willing to forgive and allow for a pessimistic day if needed. Just avoid letting this happen every day. Don’t feel like you need a relationship to be happy. Try to love yourself and recognize your good qualities. Nobody is perfect, but being positive about yourself and your life will be attractive to potential partners. For example, if it is in your nature to be impatient with people, try to practice being more patient. Maybe you could babysit for a friend. Kids are notorious for trying the patience of adults, but it’s hard to stay upset at children. So this is a good way to practice being more patient. Try meditating for 10 to 15 minutes each day to focus your attention inward. This may help to keep you from focusing too much on what your partner is doing.
Of course you shouldn’t change yourself for someone else, unless it is a positive change that you want to make for yourself. This includes things like kicking bad habits (smoking, gambling, drinking, etc. ), getting into better physical shape (not just improving your physical appearance, but your overall health and wellbeing), or becoming more focused and dedicated to your professional work. Remember that nobody is perfect, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Feel free to accept yourself for who you are, but consider trying to improve some of your negative qualities. [3] X Research source
A trustworthy partner should be reliable, faithful, and honest with you. In return, you should exhibit those same qualities toward your partner. Don’t act suspicious or jealous. Avoid snooping through your partner’s phone or checking their email. Remember that you need to be trustworthy yourself if you want to attract a trustworthy partner. Practice being trustworthy on a daily basis – with all of the people in your life, not just the person you’re in a relationship with.
Have patience if your partner is not able to spend much time with you during a particularly stressful period at work. Try to keep yourself calm while having arguments. This will help your partner see that you are trying to be patient with them.
It’s important to tell your partner that you love them, but you also need to show your partner love through your actions. Do things just to make your partner happy even if it is something you don’t enjoy. Spend quality time with your partner and support them in their decisions.
Talk with your partner about your beliefs, your aspirations, your life goals, and your expectations. Be clear about what you want so you can determine whether or not the two of you are on the same page. Also, keep in mind that people change over time, so you and your partner may develop new beliefs, goals, aspirations, and expectations over the course of your relationship. Don’t try to imitate other couples that you see. Every couple is different and the way they interact might not work for you. Don’t compare your ideal relationship with someone else’s.
Try giving your partner flowers or cooking breakfast for them in the morning. You could also plan a special date or a trip away for just the two of you. Make sure to give your partner space as well and do not try to spend every waking moment with them. Allow each other to be individuals.
Create a special morning ritual that you always do when you wake up. Or come up with cute pet names for each other. This also means that you shouldn’t rely on your relationship behaviors from the past, especially if they clearly didn’t work out the last time. Be open to new habits and discoveries. For example, try to work on communicating your emotional wants and needs to your partner more effectively, especially if communication was a problem for you in past relationships.
Work on talking things out, even when you’re upset at one another. Talking about your feelings can help you resolve fights and avoid future problems. For example, try saying things like, “When you cancel our plans, it makes me feel like I’m not a priority in your life. ” Or you could say, “I have been feeling a little depressed about my work situation lately, so I would really appreciate it if you could be understanding about that and help cheer me up. ” Keep in mind that while it is good to be insistent to fully express your wants, needs, and desires in any relationship, be mindful of considering your partner’s needs, wants, and desires also. If you push too hard to express what you want in a relationship, it might have the opposite effect and push your partner away.
Give your partner a chance to tell their side of the story and really listen to what they have to say. Try to see the problem from their point of view so that you can come to a compromise to resolve the problem. For example, try saying something like, “I don’t understand why you are so upset about this. Can you explain it to me again?” Or you could say, “I feel like you’re not listening to my side of the story. Would you please let me explain myself more clearly?” Make sure that you allow your partner to verbalize their perspective too.
Don’t make promises you aren’t sure you can keep. It’s better to avoid a potential situation in the future where you might have to take back something you said.
