To keep empathy from turning into sympathy, keep your focus on the other person, rather than allowing your empathy to shift your focus to your own experience and memory of suffering. [2] X Research source When supporting a friend or loved one, try to think about how they want to be supported. Don’t assume that they’d like or prefer the same type of support as you. [3] X Expert Source Julia Yacoob, PhDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 July 2021.
Step 1: “Just like me, this person is seeking happiness in his/her life. ” Step 2: “Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in his/her life. ” Step 3: “Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness and despair. ” Step 4: “Just like me, this person is seeking to fulfill his/her needs. ” Step 5: “Just like me, this person is learning about life. ”
A study suggests that the more you meditate on compassion, the more your brain reorganizes itself to feel empathy towards others.
It will take time to manage your emotions to the extent that you can practice full compassion, but the following techniques will help; in addition, people who practiced them in a study produced 100 percent more DHEA, which is a hormone that counteracts the aging process, and 23 percent less cortisol — the “stress hormone. ” Cut-through: Observe your feelings, focusing on your heart. Pretend you’re someone outside of the situation, giving yourself advice like “Relax, it’s no big deal. " Imagine your negative feelings getting absorbed and diffused by your heart. This will help you transform rather than repress your negative feelings. [4] X Research source Heart lock-in: Quiet your mind and focus your attention on your heart. Tap into feelings that you have towards someone or something you love easily, and try to stay with that feeling for ten or fifteen minutes. Then imagine sending those feelings to yourself and others. [5] X Research source You may also want to read How to Forgive.
