HSV-1, more commonly known as “cold sores” or “fever blisters,” tend to appear around the lips. They are small and contain fluid, and may ooze and crust. Cold sores are spread by kissing and oral sex, but sharing things like utensils and towels can also put you at risk. [4] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source You are most likely to contract HSV-1 around your mouth. If you are infected in this area, the condition is considered chronic. [5] X Trustworthy Source Cedars Sinai Hospital Website of one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source HSV-1 can also spread to the genitals, but tends to be very mild and is unlikely to come back after the first outbreak. [6] X Trustworthy Source World Health Organization Health information and news provided by the World Health Organization Go to source HSV-2, or genital herpes, is almost exclusively spread by genital contact. It’s very hard to contract this from towels or shared utensils. HSV-2 appears as red or white bumps that may open, ooze, and form ulcers before scabbing and healing. HSV-2 can be spread to any location in the body, but is most likely to appear on the genitals. Recurrence of HSV-2 is common. [7] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
If you and the girl you are dating have the same strain of herpes, you can’t “re-infect” one another because you are both carriers. If you have different strains of herpes, you can transmit that infection. For instance, if she has HSV-2 and you have HSV-1, it’s possible for either of you to get infected with the other strain. A simple blood test can tell you whether you are a carrier of either herpes virus. You can get this test at a Planned Parenthood center, other health clinics, or private health care providers (such as your general practitioner, or GP). [9] X Research source
Genital herpes may present birth complications for pregnant mothers. [11] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source In extremely rare cases, HSV-2 can lead to rectal inflammation, meningitis, or bladder problems. [12] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Having HSV-2 can increase your risk of contracting other STIs. [13] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
Encourage your partner to tell you as soon as she feels an outbreak coming on. You might say, “Even if you feel just a little under the weather, let me know! I’ll feel more secure if you always tell me when you might have symptoms. " Your partner will know when an outbreak is coming on because she will experience flu-like symptoms, exhaustion, and tingling. [18] X Research source
If you accidentally touch one, wash your hands immediately with warm water and soap. Avoid sharing glasses, towels, and lip balms in the days during, before, and after an outbreak.
Female condoms are also an effective method of protection in between outbreaks. [21] X Research source
These medicines include Acyclovir, Famciclovir, Valacyclovir, and Valtrex. Some medications, such as NSAIDs, may interact with herpes medications. [25] X Research source In order to get a prescription for these medications, the girl you are dating will have to visit her family doctor, GP, or gynecologist.
Ask yourself if you are willing to accept the risk of transmission, or if you are uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with someone who has an STI. Consider how long you will be with the girl: do you see this lasting a long time? If it’s more of a short-term thing, do you still feel comfortable accepting the risk of transmission? Remind yourself that both HSV-1 and HSV-2 are really common.
How frequently do you experience outbreaks? How long has it been since your first outbreak? Can you tell when you’re about to have an outbreak? What does it feel like? What have you done with previous partners to manage the risk of infection?
Consider calling a hotline, such as Planned Parenthood: (800) 230-PLAN. Be sure to respect the privacy of your date. Talk to someone who doesn’t know her, or someone you know won’t repeat your conversation.
You are entitled to your feelings, but it is crucial that you communicate these feelings in a clear and considerate way with your date so that she knows where you stand in your relationship. For instance, you may say: “I’d like to keep dating, but it’s very important to me that you always tell me when you feel an outbreak coming on. "
If she came right out with it, say something like: “Thank you for telling me so directly. You made it easy to talk about. " If it was a struggle for her to tell you, you might say instead: “I see that it was hard for you to tell me about the HSV-2. I really appreciate that you did it: you were brave!”
