Give the nerd time to open up to you. They’ll be better at listening once they feel more at ease.

Listen for as long as you can. If you become too bored, gently steer the conversation in a different direction. It’s alright if you don’t share some of the nerd’s interests. Keep an open mind. If you still find yourself drawn to a nerd after listening to them ramble about Star Trek for 20 minutes, it’s worth getting to know them better.

Don’t worry if your quirky interests aren’t stereotypically nerdy–share them anyway. It’s the passion behind them that counts. Nerds can respect passion and dedication.

Say something like, “Hey, I really like you. We should spend more time together. ”

Be open and expressive with your body language. Instead of throwing subtle, flirty glances from across the room, approach them.

Small talk conversation topics include the weather, your surroundings, or traffic. Avoid these. Instead, talk about one of your passions, the inspiring novel you just read, or your weird hobby.

Do you have an irrational fear of worms, or a strange love for extra-soggy cereal? Don’t be afraid to tell them! If you’re feeling nervous about being yourself, use positive self-talk to boost your confidence. Tell yourself, “It’s safe to be my genuine self. ” Don’t try to change yourself to fit the nerd mold. If you are a nerd, that’s great! Otherwise, just be true to yourself. If you are truly compatible, this will be enough.

A relationship is a two-way street. You should show some interest in your partner’s passions, and demand that your partner do the same for you. Don’t worry if you don’t understand some of your partner’s passions. While some shared interests are important, you don’t need to share all of them.

Don’t tease your partner for their mysterious obsessions. They’ve likely had to put up with such teasing their entire life, and more of it will only cause them to withdraw. [10] X Research source

You partner may have a designated space in the home where they like to work or pursue their hobbies undisturbed. They value the predictability and security of this space, so be certain not to violate any boundaries. Ask before cleaning their space or moving any of their things.

For example, if you want to go on vacation with your partner, have a balance of very structured, highly scheduled days, and days that are more laid back.

Don’t belittle your partner for not knowing much about mainstream topics. Instead, try patiently explaining.

You may not like all of your partner’s friends, but you should accept them. Try to understand and appreciate what they bring to your partner’s life. [14] X Research source

You shouldn’t only respect your partner for their technical skill. Respect them as a person. You can show respect by listening to your partner’s needs and desires, telling your partner you respect them for who they are, supporting your partner’s choices, and showing gratitude and appreciation for your partner in front of others. [16] X Expert Source Laura BilottaDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.

Try watching TV shows and movies that nerds and non-nerds alike can enjoy, like Game of Thrones or Star Wars. Teach your partner about one of your own more obscure interests. They may come to find that they enjoy it, too!

Tell them, “I really want to share my experiences with you, and it would mean a lot to me if you would listen. ” Remember, your partner is not trying to be rude! They just need a little wake-up call sometimes.

Pick a subject that you are interested in, and do a little research. Your passion will show through, making for a more engaging discussion.