How To Date A Transgender Person With Pictures

Don’t overthink it! Just run a place by your date, and if they accept, it’s probably a good place for them. If you don’t know of any place near you that has a single-use or all-gender restroom, check Refuge Restrooms: https://www. refugerestrooms. org/

If you aren’t sure what pronouns your date uses, first listen. If someone else who knows them well uses a pronoun, that is probably the correct one to use. You can also wait to see how your date refers to themself. [3] X Expert Source Marissa Floro, PhDCounseling Psychologist Expert Interview. 18 February 2021. If you don’t find out by listening, just tell them your pronouns and ask for theirs. You might say, “I meant to ask you—what are your pronouns? Mine are he/him. " Until you know for sure, just avoid using a pronoun. Use your date’s name instead.

Open up about yourself as well, and find out what you have in common.

For instance, you might say, “I’d like to go further, but will you tell me what you like before we do?” Ask if there are any parts of their body they don’t want you to touch. Some people, including trans people, dislike touch on certain areas of their bodies, such as the back, chest, or genitals. Ask them what language they want you to use about their body. Your date may be comfortable in their body, but uncomfortable using certain words for it. For instance, a trans man might like it when you touch his chest, so long as you say “pecs” instead of “breasts. " Ask, or just listen to the words they use and mirror them.

Don’t agonize over it! If you keep apologizing and bringing it up, you’ll embarrass your date and make them feel like they need to comfort you. For instance, if your date is a trans man and you call him a “girl” by accident, say “guy, I mean. I’m sorry. " If you don’t realize you misgendered someone until much later, use your best judgment. Some people would prefer an apology, but others would rather you drop it. If your date is truly upset, accept it. Sometimes we hurt people even when we mean well. Let your date have whatever space they ask for.

Compliments like “You’re so masculine/feminine!” or “You look just like a cisgender woman/man!” are likely to offend your date. If you’re a cisgender woman on a date with a transgender woman, a comment like “Wow, you are so much better at makeup than I am” is likely to come off as condescending. This doesn’t mean you can’t compliment your date on their looks or their style! Just do so without comparing them to cis people. Everyone likes being told, “You look amazing in that new jacket! You’re such a sharp dresser!”

In general, don’t ask a transgender person what sorts of surgery or hormonal treatment they have had. If they want to discuss it, they’ll bring it up. While some trans people are comfortable discussing these topics with friends, most will not want to discuss them with a new acquaintance.

Don’t ask them what their former name was, and never use it to refer to them. Using a trans person’s former name is called “deadnaming,” and it can be very hurtful. If you knew your date before they transitioned, be sensitive about what parts of your shared history you bring up. Talk about things you did together that were not gender-determined.

Similarly, telling your date out of nowhere that they are “brave” may come off as condescending. Your date does not want you to randomly tell them that you “don’t think of them as trans. " They are trans. There’s nothing shameful about it.

For instance, if you have a trans girlfriend, introduce her by saying, “This is my girlfriend, Amaranth. " If your date is nonbinary, you might help other people learn their pronouns by saying, “This is my partner Andy. They’re new in town! I’m showing them around. "

For instance, if someone says “What’s her name,” you might say, “Their name, actually. Julie is nonbinary, so they use “they/them” pronouns. " If the misgendering is casual, you can simply echo the statement with the correct pronoun. If someone incorrectly says, “Your date is cute! Where did you meet him?” You can reply, “Where did I meet her? She and I met at a potluck. "

It’s okay to quietly ask your date about it. For example, “Who have you come out to? I want to make sure that I don’t accidentally out you to anyone. What would be useful for me to know, to help me protect your privacy?”

For instance, if your friend is fishing for information, you might say, “Oh, I’d rather not talk about my partner’s body with other people. "

You might say, “I’m a straight man, and I date cisgender and transgender women. " “I identify as a lesbian and that includes transgender women. " “I actually don’t know how to define my orientation without putting myself in a box, so I’m just not doing it at the moment!” “I’m queer/pansexual/omnisexual. Gender isn’t the basis of my attraction. "

To find a meet-up group for partners of trans people, contact your local LGBTQ center or search online for meet-up groups in your area. Many sites have resources for partners: https://www. transgenderpartners. com/resource-for-partners-2/

If your partner mentions wanting to die, feeling like there is no hope, or anything that indicates they may be considering suicide, take their words seriously. Don’t leave them alone if they are feeling suicidal. Get someone to stay with them if you can’t. Your partner should have the Trans Lifeline number to call in moments of crisis. In the USA, it’s (877) 565-8850. You may also be able to look into LGBTQ-advocacy organizations like GLAAD, which can connect you with Trans resources and educational information. [16] X Research source

Your relationship will only grow if you are both open about your needs and able to set boundaries.