Many autistic people listen better when they don’t have to look at your eyes.
Be extra courteous (e. g. holding doors) Take initiative by asking them out (e. g. “I think you’re funny and cute; will you go out with me?”)
“Do you want to hold hands?” “How about a kiss?” “Hey, I’m behind you. Want a hug?” (Some autistic people startle easily when touched from behind. )
“You’re looking at the window a lot. Is something going on, or do you just like to look out windows when you’re listening?”
“I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’m a little on edge today because of my dad coming. You did nothing wrong. " “I wish you would have told me earlier about Amy’s math meet. I would like to have rearranged my schedule so that I could be there for her. " “It hurt my feelings when you said that my beard looked like a hipster beard. "
Don’t assume that an invitation into their house means sex. Since autistic people tend to think literally, your date may think that an invitation indoors is nothing more than an invitation indoors.
Autistic people may become extremely upset if they believe that they harmed someone else, physically or emotionally. [7] X Research source Using “I” phrasing is a good way to communicate when they do something that hurts you, in a way that is less likely to make them panic. Don’t avoid discussing your feelings for fear of upsetting them. It’s important to be honest; your feelings are also important, and your date will recover.
Autistic people may react with a problem-solving approach: they see that you are upset, and they are determined to fix it so you can be happy. They may not realize that you don’t want advice, just a listening ear. Autistic people may appear emotionless, even when they are experiencing deep emotions. [8] X Research source
Taking them outside, or to a quiet place, usually helps. Avoid touching them or talking unnecessarily; they may not be able to handle it. Offer things that typically calm them (e. g. weighted blanket, tight hug, white noise). If they say no, don’t push; it means that thing would be unhelpful. Let them have time to calm down afterwards.
