If you aren’t feeling confident, that’s okay! Using positive body language can help you exude confidence (even if you don’t feel it). Even simple things like standing tall, making eye contact, and smiling can make a big difference.
For example, talk about your experiences, memories, or aspirations to show her different sides of your personality. [2] X Research source You might say, “I love to travel and I hope to do more of it in the future. I think my favorite destination so far has been Rome. So much history and culture there! What about you?” Avoid topics that make you sound young, like video games or recent drama with your friends.
You might say, “I noticed you always have a book with you. Who are your favorite authors? Do you prefer any specific genres?” To keep the conversation flowing, try to find common interests that you share. If it seems like you don’t have any common interests, steer the conversation back to her. Older women tend to be strong conversationalists, so ask her to tell you more about one of her interests. Complimenting her looks is fine, but highlighting her sense of humor or personality shows that you have depth. You might say, “The stories you tell about your friends crack me up. I love hearing your perspective and your friends sound so fun. "
Showing up on time to your dates and putting an effort into your appearance are subtle yet effective ways to show respect, as well.
You can open up and share serious things about yourself when you’re ready, of course. But early on, try to avoid super serious topics like politics or your future as a couple.
Embrace new opportunities as they come. For example, if she wants to go to the opera and you’ve never been, look at it as a chance to experience something new. Even if you haven’t done a lot (yet), you can always talk about the things you’re excited about trying in the future. When you’re getting intimate, don’t focus on your lack of experience in that department. Just enjoy yourself in the moment. If she wants to teach you a few things, be open to that![7] X Research source
For example, if she mentions her love of wine, you might bring her to a wine-tasting event or book a tour at a vineyard.
You can always work on gaining experience, being more mature, and holding your own in the relationship, but you don’t need to change yourself. Don’t worry about her judging you for your interests or hobbies, especially if they’re a big part of who you are. If she’s dating you, then she’ll be curious to hear about your interests, even if she can’t relate to them.
For example, you might mention an upcoming hiking trip you’re planning with your friends. If you’re working on a passion project, tell her a little bit about it. For example, “I’m really into classic sports cars. In fact, I’m restoring one right now. That’s how I spent my weekend. "
It’s exciting to date an older woman, but if you keep bringing it up, she may get the sense that your heart isn’t in the right place. Other people might make comments about your age difference; just ignore them. As long as you’re both happy and having fun, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with dating outside of your age group.
Don’t mistake her independence as a lack of interest. One of the best things about dating an older woman is how independent and self-assured she is! An older woman has more life experience, which can sometimes mean emotional baggage. For example, maybe she’s newly divorced and wants to date casually for now. Try to respect what she’s been through.
You might say, “We’ve been dating for a few months now and I really like you. I’d love to be an exclusive couple and see where the relationship goes. What are your thoughts on that?” A difference in age can mean you’re both at different stages of life. Reflect on where you’re both at right now. What are the family dynamics like? How does it feel to be together in your social circles? Do your lifestyles complement each other?[11] X Expert Source Jessica January Behr, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 12 August 2021.
