Think about how you would feel in the other person’s shoes. Consider relationship counseling. Remember that communication is a major factor in repairing a relationship, so talk with the other person if you may want to reconcile.
Former spouses who become jealous that the other party has found a new relationship tend to be less willing to agree to property settlements or parenting arrangements. In states that grant divorces on the basis of fault, the fact that you have a relationship during the separation can be used as evidence that you had a relationship prior to the separation. The character of people you regularly bring in contact with your children is relevant to parenting arrangements. Any new partner could potentially be subject to examination and/or investigation by the court or other party because of the proximity s/he will likely have to the children.
Some experts recommend waiting at least six months before making any major decisions. Be sure you are dating because you enjoy the company of the company of the other person instead of to fill a hole left by the loss of the relationship or out of anger at the other person. Consider going out with groups of people instead of pairing up with any one person to help fill the void left from the loss of the relationship.
Volunteering for issues that interest you, such as museums or animal shelters Taking classes for things you enjoy, such as cooking, writing, or a sport Starting or joining a club or organization, such as a book club or a religious organization. A local church or community center may even have a single parents’ group.
Going hiking with a mixed-gender group of friends Seeing a play or movie with a mixed-gender group of friends. Going to the beach or park with a mixed-gender group of friends.
Don’t change your Facebook status to reflect any new relationships. Don’t announce dates on social media. Don’t talk about your dates in front of your children or friends who are also friends of your former spouse.
Often, people feel betrayed if they learn that information has been withheld from them. Once you start dating, your partner(s) could potentially find themselves involved in your case against their will. Some people feel it is morally wrong to date others before the divorce is final.
Have your children had the ability to process their emotional issues regarding the separation? Adolescents tend to hide their fears. Children under age 10 tend to be more possessive about their parents.
Open lines of communication, but don’t overshare. If a child is fine with you dating, end the conversation. Reassure your child that the other person will not replace their other parent or take you away from them. Allow your child to voice concerns and emotions without fear of punishment.
Young children tend to form attachments more easily than adults. If your relationship doesn’t work out, your child may need to deal with the loss of this person, too. If you have not gotten to know this person very well, they may bring some exposures to your children that you would prefer they not be exposed to. Realize that children need time to transition to their new lives with separated parents before new people are added into it.
