If you want to date, talk to your parents about it and seek their guidance. Make sure you’re allowed to date before you move forward. If you don’t want to date, that’s perfectly fine. Most middle school relationships exist largely online and in the imagination, anyway, which means you should take what other people are saying with a big grain of salt. Don’t date if you don’t want to.
Make sure they don’t have a date already, and aren’t going with anyone. It can be awkward to ask someone who is already going out with someone. Make sure that you already talk to this person during the week, so asking them out won’t be as awkward, and the relationship will work out better, since you already know a decent amount about the person.
Is a dance coming up? Asking someone to a dance is one of the most common ways of asking someone out on a date. If it goes well, you can sometimes stay a couple afterward. If not, you’ll have fun anyway. What about a homecoming game? Or another sports game? Ask if you can go together? Maybe a new movie is coming out soon that everyone’s talking about. Ask someone to go with you to the movie.
Shower that morning and do your hair, paying attention to it a little more than normal. You don’t have to look like a movie star, so you don’t want to overdo it, but take some time to look your best.
Try to do it in person, if you can, instead of over the phone. For a lot of people, asking someone out via text or chatting will be a bad idea, while it can work for others. If you chat regularly with someone, it might be fine. There’s always a chance that you get shot down. If this happens in front of a bunch of people, it’ll be worse than if it happens in private.
Hey, I’m ____. I´m in your history class. I was wondering. . . "
Say something like: “I’ve noticed you for a long time, and you seem like a really sweet, cool person. I like you a lot. Will you like to go to the dance with me?” Don’t wait to be asked, or assume that someone will ask you out, whether you’re a boy or a girl. It’s perfectly fine for girls to ask boys in middle school, or at any age.
This is especially important if you’re going to ask someone to go out in public with you. It needs to be ok with all of your parents, especially if you’re going to be getting a ride. You can always spend time at school together with someone, regardless of how your parents feel about it. It’s better to have permission, of course, but Romeo and Juliet were middle-school aged, after all.
Arrange something you can do together, even if you’re not together. If you both have a show you like, watch it at the same time and talk about it on the phone. Or just leave the FaceTime/Skype window open while you do homework together.
Try to be a good conversationalist and give you date something to respond to. Don’t just write “Hey. " Ask a question, make an observation, have something real to talk about. Don’t write one-word responses with a date. If you can’t talk right now, say so. For some good articles about texting a crush or a date, click here or here.
It’s important to ease up on the digital PDA. The occasional kissy-face emoji exchange is ok, but not more than once every couple days.
Give sincere compliments, when they’re deserved. “I thought you looked really nice today” will always be appreciated when you mean it. Act the same around your date as you act around your friends, which is what your date should be, unless of course you act like a total dweeb with your friends. The point is, if you’re not friends, you probably shouldn’t be dating.
Sometimes, it’s ok to try for a kiss, when the time is right, but only if both people are comfortable. Be open and honest with the person that you’re with. Sometimes, middle school romances seem devastating when they’re over. Try to relax. You’ll look back on this in less than two or three years and laugh.
Don’t get desperate and needy while you’re dating someone. No texts or Snapchat messages that say things like, “Where r u????” Spend time with your own friends, making separate time to do things that you enjoy doing alone. There’ll always be time for dating.
If you’re scared of dancing, practice. Pump up some tunes in your bedroom, or on your headphones, and work on your moves ahead of time. You don’t have to be super-smooth, but you do want to avoid looking dorky. If your school doesn’t have many dances, you can go to other school events together, especially football or basketball games. Go to any after-school club, or a school play together as a date.
Going to the movies can be a good way to make a date a little less awkward. You don’t have to talk too much, so it’s a good choice if you’re feeling nervous. If you have an older sibling, see if they’ll drive you to the date instead of your parents. Way cooler.
Offer to do little things for your date, like throw away their tray for them, or hold out the chair. It might seem old school, or like something your parents would do, but it’s good to make someone feel special.
Make sure both of your parents know you’ll be doing this, and only do it if you’d normally walk home from school. If they know you’re together, you can linger a while. Walk slow. You can also walk somewhere else, if it’s convenient and you’re allowed. Head to the mall, or to some other store to walk around after school. You can also arrange another non-school time you could go on a walk together, maybe in a park close-by.
You’ll need to talk to your parents about this, because they’ll probably not want you two to be locked up in a room together, but maybe they’ll let you have the living room to yourselves.
