You can ask her what she’s looking for before you disclose your own interests. You can say, “So we’ve never talked about what we’re each looking for. I’m curious what you think about that. ” Choose an opportune moment and keep it casual. If the subject of past relationships or future plans comes up, you can say something like, “Since then I haven’t been ready for a girlfriend” or, “I have a hard time imagining being ready to settle down any time soon. ”
Eventually, you may develop strong feelings for one or more women. If this happens, you’ll need to be honest with yourself and the people you’re dating. Casual doesn’t mean callous. You should always treat the women you’re dating with respect and consideration, no matter how casual the relationship.
Respond to texts or calls relatively quickly. If she senses that you’re too busy or disinterested to be in touch, she may feel disrespected. It also may seem like a sign that you’re not being forthright. Don’t share unnecessary information. For example, if she asks if you’re free on Friday, you can say that you “have plans” rather than saying, “I have a date with someone else. ” If she presses you to find out whom you have plans with, or what you’re doing, you should be honest. But don’t give more information than she specifically asks for. If you’re sleeping with more than one woman, be honest and disclose that to each person. [4] X Expert Source Louie FelixDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 5 May 2020. That way, they can make an informed decision about whether to continue sleeping with you, or the type of safer sex practices they’d prefer knowing they’re not your only partner. If you can’t agree on a set of rules, the relationship may not be viable.
Use discretion when talking about your love life. You may want to omit the women’s names from stories if you’re talking to someone who likes to gossip. Don’t share your feelings about one woman with another. Women don’t want to hear that you’re gaga over someone else. They also may think you’re inconsiderate if you tell them what you dislike about other women you’re dating. If you need to vent, talk to a friend. If one woman presses you for information that you don’t want to share, you can say something like, “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable discussing that with you,” or, “Do you think it’s really important that we talk about that right now? Because I’d rather not. " If she does think it’s important, you can decide whether or not you want to honor that.
Rules may include things like who you may or may not date. For example, it may be off limits to date a friend of the woman you’re seeing. A woman might say it’s okay for you to date other women, but not to have sex with them. You don’t have to agree to the same behaviors. For example, it may be fine with her if you date her friends, but you wouldn’t want her to do the same.
It’s good to know whether you imagine dating multiple women as a long term plan or as something that simply suits you right now. It’s okay not to know what you want in the long term. But be ready to be honest about that with the women you’re dating.
Most online dating apps allow you to state what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for hookups, don’t get involved with women who are looking for marriage. If you’re looking for hookups, don’t plan elaborate getaways or very romantic dates with a woman, or she may get the wrong idea.
You can read books or blogs about polyamory and other lifestyles that accommodate dating multiple women.
If you begin to fall in love with one person, or multiple people, you may need to have a serious conversation about that with all of the people you’re dating. Having strong feelings for someone doesn’t have to mean you stop dating the others, but it may mean that the relationships change in some way.
While you’re together, don’t discuss the other people you’re dating unless it’s absolutely necessary. Don’t get sucked into your phone or social media while you’re on a date. Keep your focus on the person you’re with. The other women you’re seeing can wait.
Eventually, you will need to have a very explicit conversation about exclusivity. Sometimes that conversation happens very quickly, sometimes it takes months. If you get jealous easily, it may be difficult for you to handle the knowledge that someone you like is seeing other people.
Don’t post photos of yourself with the multiple women you’re dating. If women tag you in photos with them, you can remove the tag and then talk to them about it. You can say something like, “I’m not really comfortable being tagged in photos right now. I’m seeing a few different people, and it feels awkward to post photos of myself with one person. ”
If one of the women you’re dating expresses jealousy, say what you can to reassure her, but don’t lie. For example, if it’s true, you could say, “It’s true that I have a strong connection with that other woman, but that doesn’t diminish how much I enjoy spending time with you. " You can also use this as a chance to be honest if the jealousy is well-founded. You could say something like, “I guess I have been spending more time with her. I think that relationship might get more serious at some point, but I am still excited about seeing you right now. " This can help a woman know where she stands in your eyes, but may cause some women to end or slow down the relationship. If you find yourself being jealous because one of the women is seeing someone else, let her know. Don’t make a big deal out of it or lead with anger. Simply say something like, “To be honest, I’ve noticed that I’m kind of jealous of the other person you’re seeing. I think I’d like to have more of your time and attention. " No matter who is feeling jealous, being honest about it is a great way to start a conversation. It can help you both understand more about what you want and what helps you feel secure.
