There’s nothing wrong with starting to date young. However, though you may be excited to start dating as a teen, your young age will limit what you can do with your partner. Damaging your parents’ trust early on might make it harder to enjoy dating when you have more options available when you’re a little bit older.
An unplanned pregnancy will change all of your future plans. You’ll no longer be able to pursue your dreams alone, you’ll also have to take into account your child and how you will provide for and raise it. Depending on a state, as a minor (person under 18), your parents may have the power to make decisions for you concerning your unborn child. This situation could result in you having to go along with your parents’ wishes. [2] X Research source [3] X Research source
Your decision to keep your relationship a secret won’t only affect you, it will also affect the person you care about. Even if you and your partner feel comfortable keeping your relationship a secret in the beginning, you should check with your partner as time passes to make sure the effects of stress aren’t having a negative impact.
In some cases, this might lead to you staying silent about rape or abuse instead of seeking help or reporting your partner to prevent it from happening to someone else. Speaking out about rape or abuse can be difficult, but you are not to blame. [7] X Research source
You should think about whether you’re really giving your relationship a fair shot by keeping it secret. After all, the stress and potential negative feelings that could result from keeping it on the down-low might even cause your relationship to fail. [8] X Research source
By showing your parents you want to understand and respect their point of view, they might interpret this as a sign you’re mature enough to start dating. And even if they don’t, by understanding their concerns, you can take steps to ease their fears.
Remember to take your parents’ concerns seriously. In most cases, they are only looking out for your well-being. Although you’re branching out and becoming your own person, you’re still your parents’ responsibility. Respond to parental suggestions seriously. If your parents ask you to show maturity by doing something and you fail to do it, it may reinforce their opinion that you’re simply not ready to date.
You might be able to put your parents’ minds at ease by doing something as simple as giving them your partner’s, and your partner’s parents’, phone numbers. But before you give your parents the number, let your partner (and his or her parents) know first. [9] X Research source Although it can be embarrassing, some especially strict parents might only be willing to allow you to date with a chaperon. Having one of your parents or one of your date’s parents along on your date might be awkward, it’s better than getting sick from stress and it’s definitely better than no date at all.
You may want to try talking to your parents on your own first, even if you are certain they won’t listen. This way, if your parents get upset that you’ve involved someone else, you can politely point out that you already tried to talk to them about it. Be respectful, as upsetting your parents might make things more difficult for you.
These boundaries will vary according to your situation. In a city, it’s likely you’ll have more anonymity than a rural area, which means you’ll have less of a chance of someone spotting you with your partner. There’s always the possibility that you’ll bump into a friend, relative, or acquaintance, so you’ll need to discuss how you expect to act in public and what your story is. You could claim you are simply friends, classmates working on a group project, or maybe you ran into each other and decided to hang out at the mall.
Think about choosing an adult to confide in, like an aunt, uncle, or school counselor. You may trust your best friend with your life, but you never know when an argument or hurt feelings might lead to something being said. [12] X Research source [13] X Research source
If you want to use social media to help keep track of milestones, fun times, birthdays, and so on, you could make a fake profile and keep it private from your personal life. Your partner might also make a profile so you can be “Facebook official” without anyone knowing.
To explain your new passwords, you might say something like, “The other day a friend of mine got pranked when someone got his phone. I don’t want that happening to me, so I decided to put a password on my phone. " Passwords can be difficult to remember. You might find it easier if you used a quote, lyric, or phrase that you’ll never forget to create your password. Make your password even more difficult by using the first letter of each word and the number of words per line for lyrics, an example of which might look like: Song: Somebody to Love, by Queen 1st line: Can anybody find me somebody to love → Cafmstl7 (the seven comes from the seven words contained in the first line)
You may find you have more privacy to physically show your affection to your special someone in secluded areas or places with poor visibility. For example, in a dark movie theatre or off the beaten path in a deserted park.
This technique can be especially useful if you and your partner aren’t big on public displays of affection. However, you shouldn’t just assume your partner is OK with it; he or she might actually want to hold your hand without you knowing. Keep in good communication with your partner so you’re not neglecting unspoken needs. [17] X Research source
