Someone with a vivacious personality will be fun to be around. Someone who is loyal and supportive will always be there for you in a relationship.
Introduce them to your favorite bands. See if you have similar tastes in movies. Tell them what values are important to you.
Do they always know exactly what to say to help you feel better when you’re down? Do they help you feel at ease by listening to your problems without judging you? Do you feel confident to be yourself when you’re around them?
Intense attraction to someone usually only lasts for the first few months of a relationship. Even if you’re not attracted to this person now, can you see your attraction to them growing in the future? Do they have any attractive traits you may have overlooked?
Traits like a person’s style, hygiene and manners can be altered over the course of a relationship. Traits relating to a person’s physical attractiveness or personality will be very difficult to change and will likely remain the same throughout the duration of a relationship.
If someone feels comfortable wearing casual clothes but you are attracted to people that dress in formal wear, then you shouldn’t ask them to change their style to fit your preference. If what turns you off about someone is a bad habit like smoking, then you should tell them. You may be able to help them improve their health.
“I really enjoy spending time with you but I don’t feel attracted to you at this point. I’d like us to take some time to get to know each other to see if that changes. Are you willing to take things slow?” “I think we have a real emotional connection. I may not feel physically attracted to you yet but sometimes it takes me a while to feel that way. I’d like to try starting a relationship with you. What are your thoughts about that?”
If one person expects a passionate relationship while the other person is just looking for a caretaker, the relationship could end in a disastrous breakup.
supportive kind intelligent outgoing polite
What initially attracted you to your former flames? What worked and what didn’t work in your past relationships? Does your current date have different qualities than your former partners?
You’ll have a tough time finding someone who’s dedicated to physical fitness but who will enjoy eating with you at your favorite fast food restaurants. If you want someone who’s extremely social, you can’t expect them to also like spending weekends alone with you at home.
You may be shutting yourself off from being attracted to people who don’t meet your intense qualifications. You might be holding people to such a high standard because of your own insecurities. It might be easier for you to look for reasons to shut a person out than face potential rejection from them.
If you’re holding people to an idealized standard of beauty, you’re being unfair to them. Think about how you’d feel if people compared you to your own standards for physical attractiveness.
If you’re overly critical about people’s looks, you won’t be able to be attracted to them. You may find that when you stop trying to pinpoint someone’s flaws, they magically become more attractive.
Some physical traits do show aspects of a person’s character. If a person is very physically fit, it may show you that they are committed to taking care of their body and can someday commit to taking care of you.
If you’re too enamored with a person’s physical attractiveness you may overlook flaws in their character.
a sporting event a ballet an exotic new restaurant a comedy show
If you’re an introvert and your date really enjoys being around people, you could find that you enjoy socializing more than you realized. If your date takes you to a volunteer event, you could find that you really love giving back to the community. If your date likes to talk to you about politics, you could find that you have strong opinions about the political process.
humor kindness positive outlook charm ambition
Being compassionate could also help you grow your social circle. If you hold off judgment for people you initially don’t like, you could find that they grow into some of your best friends.
