This can be especially important in a large lecture class, where the professor almost certainly won’t make an effort to learn the names of all 300 students.
Just be careful about staring at the professor so much that you stop taking notes. You might miss something important, and he’ll probably notice you not paying attention to your work. Make sure you are smiling when you make eye contact. Putting a friendly look on your face will make you look confident and more attractive. This is all the more important when you are making eye contact with him for those brief moments.
For women, look for softer colors that signal romance, like pink or coral. For style, accentuate your curves, especially those parts of your body that you want your professor to look at. [5] X Research source For men, your clothes should be clean and wrinkle-free. Nice shoes, instead of a ragged pair of old sneakers, can help as well. In terms of color, red is always good for drawing attention, and projecting an image of strength and confidence. [6] X Research source
Make sure your questions and comments are serious responses to the topic at hand. The important thing is that your professor sees you as paying attention and willing to learn. Avoid joke answers, as professors usually find that to be an annoying distraction. Lean forward when you talk in class. You won’t be able to use a lot of body language tricks, since you’ll be stuck at a desk, so something subtle will have to do. Leaning forward when you talk reinforces that you want to get closer to her, even if that effect will probably only be subconscious. [8] X Research source
If your professor ends up in an argument with another student, jump in on his side. This can work in an in-class debate, or if another student is trying to argue about the requirements for an assignment. Keep your input brief, as it is more important that your professor notices you jumped in to help rather than what you actually said. This is also the kind of thing you can do after class, telling your professor that you appreciated the position he took. [10] X Research source Keep an eye on your professor too. If he seems harried or in need of a helping hand, don’t be afraid to ask. He may not need your help, but will appreciate your offering.
Making sure you follow all directions given for an assignment is a great way to stay on your professor’s good side. Ignoring or missing required steps is an annoyance, while doing things as requested can help you stand out from all the students who don’t. Plus, you can always ask about your professor’s reasoning for those requirements, another great excuse to talk to her. [11] X Research source
This doesn’t have to be a long conversation. Tell your professor “That was a really good explanation of…” and mention a topic you covered in the class. Close by saying something like “I really understand that now,” which tells your professor he did a good job. Be sure to smile and make eye contact when you tell him this. This gives you a friendly demeanor, and subtly suggests you are trying to make a connection.
You want to find potential signs of common interest. Like any other relationship, your compatibility will be tied to having some things in common. If the only thing you have in common with your professor is an interest in the class material, you’ll probably find her pretty uninteresting in a relationship. [13] X Research source Be sure to watch for signs of a relationship. Look for a wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand, and listen if she mentions some kind of significant other.
Your conversation can be pretty wide-ranging, depending on how well you know your professor. In this kind of informal setting, you don’t have to talk about the class. Things happening around campus, in the news, or really anything can be a good way to start conversation. Find other similarities. Your conversations will need to move beyond academic topics if you want an actual relationship. Use these chats as a chance to learn more about him. Listen if he starts to share his interests with you, like food or music. Go ahead and respond with your interests to see if there is further compatibility. Another way to set this up is to invite your professor to lunch. Many schools have programs that encourage students to have meals with professors as a way to interact outside the classroom. You might even get the school to pay for your lunch that day. This is not a date, so you may want to get a few other students from the class together as well.
While professors are supposed to hold regular office hours, very few students use them. Not only will you be highly unlikely to see another student there, but your professor will be excited that someone came. When you go to the office, be sure to have something to talk about related to the class. It doesn’t need to be a serious question or concern about your grade, just that you want to talk about something that came up in lecture. If you come in only asking personal questions and don’t mention the class, he will probably see right through what you are doing and not let it go any further. Sit as close to him as possible. Try to move as close as you can, like getting your chair closer to his in the office. You shouldn’t invade his personal space, but move closer as a way to let him know you want a closer connection. [17] X Research source
Remember that these events are public, so other students and members of the department will see you. You’ll want to keep your flirting to a minimum. Look for other on-campus events as well, especially things your professor indicated he might be interested in. If you go, you may find him there, or you can always earn points as a good listener by suggesting things he can do.
The websites for both your school and your professor’s department will announce when faculty members accomplish something. Keep an eye on those pages to see if your professor’s name pops up.
Check his relationship status. If your professor is single, then you should feel comfortable at least trying. If he is married, you may still be able to get a physical relationship out of it, but it will probably be very secretive. Of course, you have to decide if that kind of person is someone you want to be involved with. Learn his preferred gender. College campuses are among the most welcoming environments for a variety of gender preferences. You don’t want to embarrass yourself by asking out your professor only to discover he prefers a gender other than yours, so look for clues to who he likes.
Your best bet is really to wait until you have graduated. That gets rid of any chance you will ever have a class together in the future. Even if your relationship is over by that point, a bad ending can have lasting repercussions on your grade or classroom demeanor. It will also be much easier for your professor to see you as mature if you are not still in school. Remember that when you are in the class, your relationship is definitely unequal. Your professor holds a significant amount of power as the person who teaches and grades the class. It is never good to be intimate with someone who has that kind of influence over your future. If your professor is younger and untenured, a relationship with a student is a good way for him to lose his job. Understandably, he will be unlikely to take a risk like that. Even tenured professors can lose their job over dating students. [21] X Research source
Being direct also means both of you know what is happening. This is not the time for grey areas. If you are both clear about your romantic intentions, he will be more likely to reciprocate appropriately.
Be aware of how he acts around you. If he is willing to initiate flirting quickly or suggests things that past students have done, and otherwise blatantly ignoring school rules, he is probably signaling that you are not the first, and probably won’t be the last. There can be other signs in the classroom. Watch to see if your professor flirts regularly with other students along with you, brags about his attractiveness, or seems to be hung up on how the students see him. These can all be signs he sees relationships with students as a way to boost his own ego. [23] X Research source Professors who date their students will quickly develop a reputation in their department, even if the department doesn’t do anything about it. If you have a concern, older students and TAs will probably have more information. [24] X Research source
