If the thoughts or talk of suicide are severe, take your wife to the Emergency Department at your local hospital. If you need support or to talk to someone, call the suicide hotline at 988 in the United States (can also be texted), 1-800-784-2433 (1-800-SUICIDE) in Canada, and 13-11-14 in Australia. For more information, check out How to Recognize the Warning Signs of Suicide and How to Help Someone Who Is Thinking About Committing Suicide.
For example, if your wife is saying how awful everything is and that no one is helping her around the house, assess whether this is true or a feeling resulting from depression. Empathize with her by saying, “I can see this is upsetting to you and making you angry. I’m wondering what kinds of things we can do to make this easier. ”
If you feel like you are blamed for the depression, remind yourself that your role is that of a helper, not a healer or preventer.
You don’t have to feel guilty about having a good quality of life while your wife is struggling. Remind yourself that it’s beneficial for you to feel healthy, have friends, and have a productive and fulfilling life. This can encourage your wife.
If your wife is expressing much negativity or going on about difficult things, patiently listen and be there for her. Say, “I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. ”
If she is debating going to a meditation group or book club, encourage her to do so. If she’s on the fence about attending a family function, gently explain the benefits of going without pushing her to go. Offer to go with her as a support person to activities she may be interested in.
Say, “I want to help you through this hard time. What can I do that can make your life easier?”
Do things to brighten your wife’s day, or do things you think may help her laugh (or at least smile).
Attending therapy with your wife can encourage her to seek support and continue going to therapy to treat depression.
Exercise with activities you enjoy. In addition to going to a gym or fitness center, you can dance, ride your bike, walk the dog, or jump on the trampoline. Encourage exercising together with your wife. Take a spin class together, or go to yoga as a pair. Exercise is an effective treatment for mild and moderate depression and can help lessen severe depression. [13] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School’s Educational Site for the Public Go to source
Even if your wife no longer wants to participate in shared activities, keep things in your life that you enjoy.
If you feel exhausted by taking care of your wife, ask friends or family to step in and help out.
For more information, check out How to Choose a Therapist.
