It’s important to be polite on the few occasions you speak to your coworker to maintain a positive and drama-free work environment.
Consider the possibility that your coworker didn’t intend to upset you. They may not even realize they’ve done something you don’t like. You’re more than justified in confronting a coworker’s difficult behavior when they’re interfering with you and your work performance, but more often than not, it’s not personal.
If they don’t get the hint, let them know how you feel about their negativity. Everyone has different ways of venting frustration, and they may not have any idea how their attitude affects you. Try not to complain unnecessarily yourself, either. It’s hard to get along with a whiny colleague, and sinking to your coworker’s level won’t make them stop.
Hotshot coworkers can be frustrating, but asking for their advice will show them that you’re willing to work with them and have a positive professional relationship.
Try developing a few other coping mechanisms to help you deal with negative interactions, too. For example, you might practice deep breathing or meditation, or step away and take a walk or exercise when you feel upset. [7] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
You might even realize that your coworker has insecurities about their own job performance or feels jealous of your success.
Don’t expect your coworker to work the same way you do, either. Consider what you expect them to do before assuming they’re being difficult. You might find that your demands have been a little unrealistic.
Reference the specific issue at hand instead of making it about your coworker as a person. For example, instead of saying, “Get your act together, or we’re going to miss our deadline,” say, “I’d like to talk to you about what we can do to get that project you’re working on finished sooner. " Getting an explanation might even reveal that your coworker has personal issues you don’t know about. You might find that you understand them better after talking.
For example, you might say, “I find it hard to focus when there’s a lot of background noise,” instead of, “You’re being irritating, and you need to quiet down. ” Similarly, say, “I work best when I know about a presentation two days in advance. Can you try to let me know in the future?” instead of, “You never give me enough time to prepare for presentations. ” Don’t take offense if your coworker offers you some constructive criticism in return. Do your best to learn from it, assuming it’s reasonable.
When speaking to a known gossip, avoid discussing anything not directly related to work. You can always use professionalism as an excuse to avoid being rude! You could say, “I’m sorry, but I generally try not to talk about non-work issues while in the office. ”
Look for ways to tolerate one another enough to work together effectively. You don’t need to be best friends to do good work together!
Document your grievances, so you have evidence if you escalate the issue to a supervisor. If possible, keep a log of their behavior, along with hard evidence like emails and messages. Besides breaking company rules, if the coworker’s behavior is actively impacting your performance or making you feel unsafe, it may be worth reporting them. The appropriateness of this option will depend upon the unique situation and your office culture. Use your best judgment!
