Make sure you get enough sleep. Make time to eat right and get some exercise in. Do something nice for yourself, even if it’s something small. Take yourself out to see a movie. Read a book in the bath.
You don’t have to make a perfectly polished letter, as the letter is your tool for coping. You can simply express your feelings. How do you feel about the friendship fading? Why do you feel this way? Share your favorite memories of you and your friend. Talk about what you’ll miss. If there was a falling out of some kind, offer an apology. Not all faded friendships disappear forever. Sometimes, friends get busy and contact may lessen. You can write a goodbye letter that mourns the loss of a certain closeness. You can talk about missing be able to talk to your friend every day, but mention how you look forward to maintaining the relationship in different ways in the future.
Take some time to cry, if you need to. Many feel embarrassed getting upset over a faded friendship. Remember that, if a relationship ends, it’s important to feel the loss. Sometimes, it can be difficult to get in touch with your emotions, especially if you’re focused on moving forward. Grieving is important. If you’re having trouble processing, do something to spur memories. Look over old social media posts. Go to a bar or coffee shop where the two of you used to hang out. [4] X Research source
In the future, it may be a good idea to block updates from your friend on various social media outlets until you’ve adjusted to the somewhat faded relationship.
Often, friendships fade just because people change as they grow older. If you and your friend are growing in different directions and you want different things, it’s natural to drift apart. [7] X Expert Source Lena Dicken, Psy. DClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 December 2020.
Has this happened to you before? Have you had other friends simply fade away over time? If this happens to you frequently, you may be doing something to drive friends away. It’s also possible you’re choosing companions who are difficult to get along with or incompatible with you as a person. If the friend in question has had many failed friendships before, you may not be the problem. You may be choosing emotionally unavailable people as friends. Spend some time considering the quality of your past friendships, and whether your friends have always treated you in a way that makes you feel safe and comfortable. If the friend in question has many longterm friendships besides you, you may be part of the problem. Consider your interactions with this person. Can you think of anything you did wrong? Try to talk to other friends. Ask them for honest feedback on whether you’re a good friend. Press them for ways you could improve.
Consider where your friend is in life. Did he or she just have a new baby, get married, start a job? Did this friend move away? While certain friendships may feel like they’ll last a lifetime, circumstances can strain relationships. A friend may simply not have time to reach out. In the future, when your friend becomes less busy, you may rekindle the friendship. Chances are, if an external factor ended the relationship, your friend does not hold any animosity towards you.
Text your friend. Engage with him or her on social media. You may be able to maintain the friendship, in a slightly different form, by switching up communication modes. Your friend may have an easier time getting back to you via social media and texting, allowing you to see that the friendship, while faded, still matters to both of you.
However, keep in mind you should not gossip. You do not want to create further animosity or distance. Even while you may have frustrations about the friendship ending, gossiping or bad mouthing your friend will only make things worse. [10] X Research source
People change with time, and change can affect friendships. A friendship’s former level of closeness may no longer be practical for a variety of reasons. If you’re in your 30’s, for example, you may still not be intensely close to your high school friends group. If you’re approaching your 40’s, certain college friendships may have faded. Even while a relationship has faded slightly, that does not make it less important. Try to accept that a dip in intimacy is common over time. You may not talk to certain close friends every day after a certain point. That’s okay. You do not need to let go of faded friends. Instead, accept that the relationship has changed while continuing to think of the friendship as important.
You may have noticed a pattern of behavior when examining the loss of your friendship. If you feel like you’re habitually drawn to bad relationships, or that you engage in behavior that pushes others away, you may want to seek out the help of a therapist. A solid therapist can help you sort through your emotions and learn to be a more loving, caring friend.
Find a new hobby. Take up something like knitting or crossword puzzles. Join a cooking class. You can also look for ways to make new friends. Join a website like MeetUp where you can find various clubs in your area filled with likeminded people. Instead of spending your time being sad about a friend you drifted away from, be open to new friendships that fit your current interests and where you are now in your life. [15] X Expert Source Lena Dicken, Psy. DClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 December 2020.
Many people do not want to reach out to a faded friend if they felt they were jilted or ignored. You may feel it’s your friend’s “turn” to make the first move. However, this feeling will not help the situation. You’ll end up isolating yourself from someone unnecessarily. Try to forgive your friend for the lack of contact. Sometimes, a simple phone call or text message can rekindle a forgotten friendship. Friendships go through changes, like any relationship. There will be times when you and your friend share everything, and times when you are distant. A faded friendship may not stay faded forever. If this person is important to you, it may be worth your time to reach out. You could end up bringing someone special back into your life.
