He may itch his nose often and his nose may turn red. This is known as the Pinocchio Sign, as a lie causes your cells to release histamine, which can cause your nose to itch and become swollen. He may also exhibit negation cues, like covering or blocking his mouth and rubbing or putting his hand over his eyes, his nose, or his ears. He may also avoid making eye contact with you or turn his body or head away from you as he speaks.
According to a study by the Harvard Business School, liars tend to use more swear words when they speak, as they are so focused on the lie they neglect to use proper terms or clean language. Your boyfriend may also use the third person when lying to distance himself from the lie he is telling you and he may try to change the subject quickly after he has told a lie to avoid drawing attention to it.
If your boyfriend is lying to you to keep something from you, it may be useful to approach his lie as a way to reveal a truth he is hiding. If you and your boyfriend are just starting to date seriously, he may lie to you to hype himself up to you and make himself seem more worthy of your attention. However, if you think your boyfriend may be motivated to lie to you to hurt you, you may want to consider if his lies are a red flag that there are other issues in the relationship that need to be addressed.
No one can be “made” to lie, it is a choice they make and it is their responsibility to own up to their choice. Keep this in mind as you try to deal with your boyfriend’s lies.
Thinking about the context of the lie may also help you determine why he felt the need to lie to you. This way, when you confront him, you can explain why you think he is lying and be honest and open about your feelings. There are many different reasons why people lie to their partners, and it may be useful to consider common relationship scenarios where someone may lie. For example, maybe you criticized certain bad habits your boyfriend cultivates, such as smoking or spending too much money. He may then lie to avoid disappointing you or to avoid receiving another lecture from you. He may also lie to avoid conflict or to avoid having to stop his bad habit.
Rather than tell him, “I know you’re lying” or “You are a liar”, you should give him the opportunity to be honest with you. Tell him: “I think there is something going on that you’re worried about or that you do not want me to know about. I think it’s time that we bring it out into the open so we can handle it together. ” This will indicate to your boyfriend that you want to be honest and open with each other and that you are not trying to accuse him of lying. Instead, you are letting him make amends and come clean on his own about the lies.
If your boyfriend is lying due to an addiction or a personal issue, you may suggest that he go for help in the form of AA or substance abuse counseling, or that he consider talking to a therapist about his issues. This will give him other ways to work on his personal issues without having to lie to you or to anyone else in his life.
You may ask yourself some questions, such as: Does your boyfriend lie to you often? Do you have difficulty trusting your boyfriend? Have you confronted him about his lying before, and seen no change in his behavior? If you answer “yes” to all of these questions, your boyfriend’s lies may be part of a destructive pattern in your relationship and you may want to consider if it is worth it to be lied to by your partner on a regular basis. Frequent and consistent lying can also be signs of a potential personality disorder. These cannot be changed through simple conversation. If this is the case, you may need to consider if this is the right relationship dynamic for you at this moment.
