Of course, before you decide if you want to play, you have to make sure you’re dealing with a player first. [1] X Research source Don’t use reputation alone to make your decision, and see for yourself. Check to see if the guy really does see multiple girls at once or if he’s just a flirt;[2] X Research source there’s a big difference.
If you’re looking to find Mr. Right, then he may not be it. Though some players do change and settle down, this is not the norm.
If you express jealousy, then the player is likely to back off, since he won’t have the patience to deal with it. As soon as you start getting suspicious or antsy, he’ll begin to suspect this isn’t the right thing for him. Then again, if you really are upset because he’s seeing other girls, then back out.
Instead, let things go at their own pace. In an ideal situation, things just reach a natural progression, and you’ll both takes to grow closer when the time is right. If you feel like you’re always pressuring him, then it’s a sign that you want something more and that you should move on.
Being with a player is all about having fun, and you should enjoy the carefree benefits of the relationship. If you hold the player to the same standards as a serious boyfriend or a husband, then you are bound to be disappointed.
If you find yourself lonely whenever you’re not with him or wondering what he’s up to or when you’ll get to see him next, then you have already gotten attached. [7] X Research source It’s perfectly natural to get attached in a relationship — but if you get attached to a player, you’re setting yourself up to fail.
Another thing you can do is let him know if you’re not okay with the late-night booty call. If he texts you or calls you asking to hang after midnight, tell him you want a date first so he knows what to do, next time. If you let him get away with these antics early on, then it’ll be harder for him to break the habit.
However, if you were dating a player without realizing it, that’s a different story. If you found this out the hard way and you’re much more into monogamy, let him know that he really hurt you, but don’t feel compelled to fight fire with fire if it’s not in your nature.
Don’t tell him how much you love him all the time. Just be flirty and give him a few compliments while teasing him and keeping things light instead. Make him work for it. Show him that you still expect to have nice dates, go dancing, or do whatever you want to do together if he plans to roll with you.
Letting your guard down can be tempting, especially if you’re with someone you’re really starting to like. However, the more you reveal to him, the more you’ll regret later when your relationship is over. You can tell him what’s on your mind, but telling him your deepest, darkest secrets may lead you to cringe later.
Don’t ever forget about spending time with your girlfriends. They will center you and will remind you of who you really are. If you ditch them for the player, then they won’t be there when you come crawling back to them. Pursuing your own hobbies and interests can help you develop your identity and to stay centered. Don’t give up the things you love to do on your own to spend time with the player all the time. [11] X Expert Source Kate DreyfusHolistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer Expert Interview. 10 September 2021.
Instead, fill your schedule with time with your friends, as well as time to be on your own to decompress and do your own thing, and you’ll be better off.
You may not think his friends are the greatest people in the world, but nothing is stopping you from saying hi and asking how they’re doing when you see them. Make it easier for yourself to get along with them, and your time with the player will be more enjoyable.
If the player feels like he has you under his thumb, he’ll be much less intrigued than he’d be if you’re behind the steering wheel.
Plus, if you’re looking for something more than a player, keeping your options open can lead you to find that special guy you were looking for. If you’re bogged down with a player all the time, you may be missing out on the perfect guy.
Show him that you’re capable, too. If he teases you, respond with a quick comeback. If he spouts off his baseball knowledge, spit out a few impressive facts. Show him that you’re ready to play ball.
Though you don’t need to wear black sunglasses or an edgy hat, you can work on being less completely open so the player will have to do more work to get to know you.
As a rule, you should text each other about the same amount. If he’s calling you a lot, then you should call him at least a few times to keep things fairly even.
Just make sure that it’s not the case that you and the player actually like each other and that you’re just using other people to make each other jealous. That happens, too.
Trust your gut. If you suspect that you’re starting to feel some heartache, then that’s probably the case. If you think your feelings are too strong and the player isn’t going to be there for you, then it’s time to say your goodbyes. [17] X Research source
