Superficial charm; everyone seems to like them. Lack of remorse; they don’t feel guilty when they’ve done something wrong. Lack of empathy; they don’t seem to care when someone else is hurt. Propensity to lie; they do it casually, like it’s nothing. Incapacity for love; those closest to them realize something is missing. Egocentricity; they light up when they’re the center of attention. Delusions of grandeur; they often perceive themselves as superior to others.
Even if a sociopath takes an action that appears to be good-hearted or kind, there’s usually an ulterior motive. Sociopaths often cheat on their partners, since they don’t feel guilt for doing so.
Sociopaths are often at the center of love triangles, or the people to break up a marriage. In a workplace setting, they might undermine coworkers to make themselves look good in front of the boss. In a friend circle, a sociopath might cause drama that forces people to take sides, while they coolly control the entire situation.
Sociopaths don’t change to become empathetic. No amount of “talking it through” or giving the person extra chances is going to make them a better person. If you can distance yourself enough to realize it’s not really about you, you’ll have more power to stand up to the sociopath.
When you interact with a sociopath, keep your guard up and resist the temptation to talk it out or change the person. Remember that sociopaths aren’t motivated by love, but by power, so you want to show them you won’t give them power over you.
This is especially true if you have an empathetic, sensitive type of personality. Sociopaths prey on this personality type, so get out while you can. [4] X Research source In some cases, though, it’s impossible to break things off. Maybe the sociopath is your boss at work, or worse, your parent, child or sibling. If that’s the case, you’ll need to learn effective ways to handle yourself around the person.
Try putting on a cheerful face whenever the sociopath is around. Even if you’re not feeling particularly cheerful that day, you don’t want to reveal your true mood to the person. It’s important to show that you’re not someone who’s easily cracked or swayed. If you’re feeling vulnerable, try to stay away from the person for the day.
For example, you might be having a perfectly fine morning at work when your sociopath coworker comes up to you and tells you the boss has a big problem with your latest report. Don’t believe what the sociopath tells you until you hear it straight from your boss’s mouth. Or the sociopath in your group of friends might casually tell you about a party you weren’t invited to. Wait until you get the story from someone else before you react.
Talk, talk, talk, about anything and everything that is neutral and safe, like weather, sports, and so on. Continuously change the subject (especially if they say something to try to harass you) and try not to have any long moments of silence.
If what the person wants from you is your money, don’t let it be easy to find. A sociopath will open your bank statements and look at your account without your permission, so be careful to keep your records secure. Create the impression that you do not have a lot of money and that your friends and family do not have a lot of money, so you won’t be seen as a target. If the person wants power, create the impression that you are not well connected. If they want to use you, make yourself less desirable.
Avoid complaining, since any information about your weaknesses, things that cause you mental, emotional or psychological pain, or anything that annoys, bothers or hurts you they will use as arsenal to terrorize you. Don’t let the person know when your feelings are hurt. The sociopath will be more likely to repeat the behavior so you’ll get hurt again.
For example, if you plan to change jobs, first take the exam, go to the interview, get the new job and resign from the old job before you share the good news with the sociopath. Once the event has already taken place, they won’t be able to find a way to keep you from doing well. If you live or work with the sociopath, use periods of time when they are out of the office or away from home to make small purchases, make small changes or get things done.
Do not react when the person harasses you. Calmly call the person out when they blatantly lie. Show that you’re not susceptible to their manipulations.
Don’t borrow money from a sociopath. Don’t accept gifts in any form. If the person wants to “put in a good word for you” with the boss, politely decline. Don’t accept help in any form. Don’t do anything for which you might later feel the need to apologize.
Be careful how you document your interactions with the person. Recording someone without their knowledge is a felony in some states. If you’re being harassed and you need to gather proof, you may want to first speak with an attorney to figure out the best course of action.
